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Note to self

This post is mainly just for me. In case I ever thought about more kids.

Don't Do it.

Please excuse this little pity party for myself. Yes, I am a whinny little girl.

Today I just couldn't go on. I wouldn't have wanted to be around me and I like me. I was a grouch. I was over tired, sweating and shivering uncontrollably and trying not to cough on anyone. I was pacing around the house with Reagan in my arms, (she would burst into tears every time I set her down) trying to remember why I came into this particular room, wondering which twin was screaming , trying to remember when was the last time I took something to bring my fever down. (Pause here to get vomited on by Madison) When Kari got home I took some flu remedy that she picked up and that really made me crash. Kari has been so worn out that I feel guilty trying to catch a nap when the big girls are up. However, at seven p.m. I could go no further and left her down stairs with at least three of the kids crying. I slept pretty good for about an hour, until Rylee came in to "check" on me. At 10 p.m. Kari crashed and kicked me out of bed.

We have really hit a new low. Physically and mentally. Kari got some pills to help her heart, so hopefully we are now on an up swing. I have been fighting off some sort of illness for the last couple of days and today I hit the "I just can't do it anymore" point. I'm not sure what I have and I hope that I don't pass it on to anyone else. It feels flu like, constant low fever, chills, dizziness, hot flashes, head ache, nausea, weakness and a cough that will not allow more than a few minutes of sleep. Kari has not been much better off. She has had constant crushing pain in her chest and occasionally very sharp pain that takes her breath away, no energy and we all have short tempers.

I had been trying to stay up continuously through the 2 a.m. feeding. Last night I tried to sleep between feedings and it didn't work out very well. I think that those little rascals can tell when you close your eyes.

We are a little concerned with the difficulty that both girls, especially Madison, are having with bowel movements. They should have one per day. We are going on day 3 with nothing from Madison and only a little from Jordan. We gave them suppositories last night and that helped Jordan a bit, but Madison is still having trouble. I guess that would make anyone a little grumpy.

Rylee continues to be mischievous. She got Jordan's Potassium off the counter and since I left the top off with the syringe sticking in the bottle, she proceeded to dump the entire bottle on the floor. I think that little bottle was about $100 and we are not sure if the insurance will cover another. I guess we shall see. Kudos to her though for trying to clean it up using one of mom's good towels. I think the ty-dye look is coming back though. Bright orange on white looks quite nice I think.

I don't know why I am typing this when the floor needs to be vacuumed (still dealing with flea infestation) dishes need to be done, trash emptied, bottles washed, yard mowed, pool cleaned, ect. Except this takes less energy.

I have about 35 minutes till I have to start warming bottles, should I try to sleep or not? That is the question.


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