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Feelin better

I think I finally kicked the bug that was dragging me down. Now we are trying to play catch up. No vacuuming has been done in a couple of days and the fleas have reappeared. Boy do I hate fleas, they are really tough to get rid of. We may have to have them come and respray the house. We were hoping to avoid that, because it is such a production to vacate the house for four hours. We may have them come back on the 10th when we will have to be gone for the 6 hour sleep study.

Kari and I have been better about taking some naps and that has helped some. Although we don't get to spend much time together. I was really dragging earlier in the day. I got up to help Kari with the 11 a.m. feeding and then I let her nap till 4:30. That 2 p.m. feeding was a bear. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I kept dozing off and jerking awake to see if the bottle was still in Jordan's mouth and listening to see what trouble Rylee was getting into.

Rylee has been pretty good since the last post. Only a little coloring on the walls and a unintended dose of baby laxative. She had been a little uncomfortable and we had given her about half a dose and I didn't get the cap on tight enough.(A full dose of baby laxative works) I also underestimated her reach. She can get at almost anything on the counter and I caught her dragging a chair over to the counter yesterday for a little extra reach. Now all medication has been moved off the counter to the cupboards.

We have been feeling a little guilty about the small amount of attention our big girls have been getting. Poor Reagan has probably gotten the worst deal. Since she can't sit still and is less steady than Ry, she is not usually allowed up on the bed during feedings. Often we have to put her in her crib to cry it out while we feed the little ones. It is really nerve racking to have a little kid screaming at the top of her lungs when you are trying to deal with a vomiting baby. And only a little less troubling if they are screaming at you from their crib.

My Dad told me to get some help. And I thought that was a fine idea. But we are still working on that. I was thinking that I would pick up the phone and have someone here the next day. Well, I picked up the phone and then wondered "who should I call?" And again "What exactly do we need?" We do need something though, so I called our good friend Kelly and got the number for the nanny that she had used. I will be trying to call her tomorrow. But it is a Sunday and I am guessing that we won't have any help till Monday and the earliest. There are some folks across the street who have offered to help and some other friends who have offered to take Rylee and Reagan for a bit. However, it seems like so much to ask that we just haven't. We are now at the point, though, that we are about ready to swallow our pride and surrender. I think that Kari has had an especially hard time asking for help. I think that we both want some help, we just have a hard time asking for it. Kari has been very concerned with the particulars, when would they come? How long would they stay? Are they looking after just Rylee and Reagan or the twins? Do we need more help after Becka gets here or will that be enough?

I think we just need to get someone here and then work out the details. Maybe once we get the first step out of the way it will be a little easier.

We still haven't cooked the shrimp and now I am afraid to eat it. I wasn't too sure about the freshness the day I brought it home. I did have the macaroni and cheese that the girls didn't eat though.

Wheres the beef?

We just realized that our diet has really taken a nose dive. Kari and I had a few minutes to chat between changing diapers and feeding kids. The conversation came around to "what do you want for dinner?" You know the response, Kari and I both give the same reply "I don't know, what do you want?"

I started to think about what I have eaten over the last couple of days. Well, lets see, yesterday I had some sliced ham left over on Rylee's high chair (scratching my head and thinking real hard, I came up with nothing else). The day before, hmmmm...I had a piece of Wayne's leftover cake. Maybe I would have a little more energy if I ate something. Ya think? So today I went into the fridge to cook all the ground beef that June and Wayne bought, but it had turned bad. So I got out the Pillsbury pizza dough to make a little "homemade" pizza. The dough was bad. I gave up and ate the half of a banana left on Reagan's highchair. I don't think that Kari has been doing much better. She never ate much to begin with.

So tonight when I went to the drug store and stopped at HEB I thought that I would get something precooked. So we would at least have something. But then I walked by the seafood counter and saw shrimp on sale. Pasta and shrimp sounded good and not to tough to make. By the time I got home it was 8 p.m. and time to feed the twins. We got done feeding the twins about 9:30 (because we got started a little late.) Then I realized that shelling and deveining the shrimp was taking a lot longer than I thought it would. At 10:20 Kari said she had to go to bed. And she was right, she should have been in bed about an hour ago and we had not even turned the heat on yet. So I gave up, put the shrimp in the fridge and ate the sugar coated curlers with a glass of white wine.

I guess we will try the shrimp tomorrow (its all prepared now) and I bought some frozen "heat and eat" kinda stuff for the next couple of days. Hungry Man is underrated, I think.

It is tough to find the time to cook. Any cooking really has to be started right after the five o'clock feeding. Right when the big girls are expecting dinner. So you have to cook, eat, feed the big girls, clean up, get teeth brushed, jammies on, and get bottles and meds ready between 6:15 and 7:45. Most times, lately, it just seems like too much work.

You sometimes just forget to eat. It is easier than you might think. I have been busy enough with screaming kids, carpet stains, telephones, baby alarms going off, and dogs under foot to forget that I was on my way to the bathroom an hour ago and now its an emergency.

I'M STILL UP

THIS IS ALL IN CAPS NOT BECAUSE I AM RAISING MY VOICE, BUT BECAUSE I AM TYPING WITH ONE HAND. JORDAN IS INCONSOLABLE AND IS ONLY HAPPY WHEN BEING HELD. I JUST PUT RYLEE TO BED FOR THE FIFTH TIME AND EXPECT TO SEE HER PEEKING AROUND THE CORNER ANY MINUTE.

I'M TIRED.










This is Rylee with Jordan at 4 a.m. I thought she was kind of cute with the thumb in the mouth and holding the binky for her sister.

Last night went a little smoother, although not much sleep. Rylee was up all night. She was not fussy, just awake. She was up at midnight and I put her back to bed. Up at two and I put her back in bed. At three I gave up let her stay up. (for awhile)

The eleven o'clock feeding went well and I tried to go to sleep at midnight. That is when Rylee came down. I couldn't get to sleep anyway. Rylee came back down to help with the two o'clock feeding. I gave her some water and took her back upstairs. Tried to sleep again at about 3:15. Amazingly, I was not feeling tired at that point, but knew that I would pay for not getting some rest. At about 3:17 I felt Rylee climbing into bed with me. At about 3:25 Jordan started crying. I calmed her down and got back in bed at 3:30. Madison started to fuss at 3:32. I just squeezed my eyes tighter and hoped she would go to sleep. Nope. I got her calmed down by about 3:45 when Jordan started up again. The binky keeps her calm, if you can keep it in her mouth. I gave up on sleep at this point and got Madi's meds ready. I went ahead and turned on some cartoons for Ry. I fed Jordan a little early because she was starting to fuss again. Kari came down at five, suprised that I had not gotten her up. Since I had left her earlier with three of the four kids screaming and I was feeling pretty good, I sent her back to bed. (she did not fight me on this issue.) At about 5:05 I started to wonder if she would be mad if I changed my mind. I was done feeding around 5:45, left the cartoons on for Rylee, locked the door so she would be contained, and got the bottles cleaned up. At 6:00 the fever came back on strong, Rylee got out of bed and had a fit that she couldn't open the door, and Madison started crying. I put Rylee back in her bed (she finally went to sleep for a bit), got Madison calmed again, and sweated and shivered til 8:oo.

We were supposed to have the girls at the lab as early as possible (because we didn't make it yesterday) so I took them after the 8:00 feeding. It is easier for me to take them because I no longer care how I look and going out in public without a shower doesn't bother me anymore.

It is not much fun watching your kids get stuck with a needle. Even though it for their own good. It is worse I think when you can't expain why you are letting someone stick them.

Anyway, I got two naps today and I think that I am on the mend. Thanks for the concern Mom, I think that I am going to live.

Kari tells me that Rylee took her diaper off three times and peed on the dinning room floor. Isn't that nice?

This post has taken all day to write and I am now off to do the 11 p.m. feeding.

Sorry, Mom, if the last couple of posts were a bit on the gloomy side. We had hit a bit of a low but doing much better now. It just took a couple of days of not paying any attention to the house and focusing on kids and sleep. I even got around to emptying the diaper pails today (good thing too. They were FULL and pretty ripe.) And Kari got the dishes done, which was no small task. I don't think we had any clean ones left. Can't wait for you guys to come see your grandkids.

Small baby food jars will fit down the garbage disposal. Small baby food jars will shatter if you turn on the disposal. And, shattered glass is really difficult to clean out of a sink disposal.

Just thought you should know.

A special thanks

Thanks uncle Neil and and Aunt Sue. I don't think that we have gotten a proper thank you out to you and I wanted you to know that we appreciate your generosity. It is nice to know that the family is thinking of us.

Note to self

This post is mainly just for me. In case I ever thought about more kids.

Don't Do it.

Please excuse this little pity party for myself. Yes, I am a whinny little girl.

Today I just couldn't go on. I wouldn't have wanted to be around me and I like me. I was a grouch. I was over tired, sweating and shivering uncontrollably and trying not to cough on anyone. I was pacing around the house with Reagan in my arms, (she would burst into tears every time I set her down) trying to remember why I came into this particular room, wondering which twin was screaming , trying to remember when was the last time I took something to bring my fever down. (Pause here to get vomited on by Madison) When Kari got home I took some flu remedy that she picked up and that really made me crash. Kari has been so worn out that I feel guilty trying to catch a nap when the big girls are up. However, at seven p.m. I could go no further and left her down stairs with at least three of the kids crying. I slept pretty good for about an hour, until Rylee came in to "check" on me. At 10 p.m. Kari crashed and kicked me out of bed.

We have really hit a new low. Physically and mentally. Kari got some pills to help her heart, so hopefully we are now on an up swing. I have been fighting off some sort of illness for the last couple of days and today I hit the "I just can't do it anymore" point. I'm not sure what I have and I hope that I don't pass it on to anyone else. It feels flu like, constant low fever, chills, dizziness, hot flashes, head ache, nausea, weakness and a cough that will not allow more than a few minutes of sleep. Kari has not been much better off. She has had constant crushing pain in her chest and occasionally very sharp pain that takes her breath away, no energy and we all have short tempers.


I had been trying to stay up continuously through the 2 a.m. feeding. Last night I tried to sleep between feedings and it didn't work out very well. I think that those little rascals can tell when you close your eyes.

We are a little concerned with the difficulty that both girls, especially Madison, are having with bowel movements. They should have one per day. We are going on day 3 with nothing from Madison and only a little from Jordan. We gave them suppositories last night and that helped Jordan a bit, but Madison is still having trouble. I guess that would make anyone a little grumpy.

Rylee continues to be mischievous. She got Jordan's Potassium off the counter and since I left the top off with the syringe sticking in the bottle, she proceeded to dump the entire bottle on the floor. I think that little bottle was about $100 and we are not sure if the insurance will cover another. I guess we shall see. Kudos to her though for trying to clean it up using one of mom's good towels. I think the ty-dye look is coming back though. Bright orange on white looks quite nice I think.

I don't know why I am typing this when the floor needs to be vacuumed (still dealing with flea infestation) dishes need to be done, trash emptied, bottles washed, yard mowed, pool cleaned, ect. Except this takes less energy.

I have about 35 minutes till I have to start warming bottles, should I try to sleep or not? That is the question.

Disclaimer: If this post makes sense it is a miracle!

I just realized ....

We have a monitor receiver outside so we can hear the twins when Rylee and Reagan are playing outside. I was outside with the girls when Mark went in to deal with Madison crying. The high heart rate alarm went off, and it was very loud. I will mention too that he locked us out by accident. Now I'm wondering how many conversations (Mark and I speaking as we feed the girls) our neighbors have heard. And wondering if they think there are serious issues in our household. I can't remember specifics of our conversations, sometimes I dream about them not knowing if they actually took place or if I just want them to. Do they hear the alarms, the slap happy dialect we often speak these days, the snapping at Rylee to keep her feet off the twins heads. Us loudly questioning the toddlers as to what they are doing. Quietness is just as dangerous as loud crashes and booms. Yes even the S.E.X. talks. No, dear you will never get it again until you get snipped!!! Are you crazy?! Have you completely lost your mind?! Oh yeah we did that when we found out we were having twins. Oh and realizing we have four under three.

I try to get on online groups for support for situations like ours, to no avail. I feel foolish to even post. Most people with twins are going through it the first time with no prior children. Some are going through it with one 4 or 5 year old. They don't know how to keep going. They are all sleep deprived and going nuts. If I say we have 4 under 3 they are going to call the mental institution on us. All the websites say get as much rest as possible, eat well, and get out alone and do "me" activities. Who are these people talking to?

On the flip side... Reagan gives the best smiles, the greatest giggles, awesome hugs, and such a vibrant, exciting outlook on life. Rylee sings "You are my sunshine" (most of the words and in tune) to the twins when they fuss. I watch her "feed", "burp", and "coo" at her baby dolls. So gentle and caring. She knows who is who better than daddy and I, just by listening to their "words" in another room. The girl is smart, she traces letters to words in her coloring book with such precision. And when mommy is feeling blue she hugs me with such "adult" concern. She has an uncanny ability to lend a hug or caress when needed, as other family members can attest to. She leads Reagan by hand away from "things" she ought not do. She engages her in chase, a favorite.

One of my favorite shows, Brothers and Sisters premiers next week. A family of five siblings. Lots of drama and lots of love. I want that, well NO there won't be five siblings but four. I just hope and pray we survive this trying time in at least a few pieces that can eventually be glued or taped together. I know we are going to have lots of stories to tell and laugh about. I know we are going to have glorious times. I know that even in these desperate hours that I fail to share with the world will either be funny or a misconstrued dream someday. I realize that my memory sucks, my house is in total disarray, kids are resilient and that horrible phrase " This too shall pass!" will not bother me or come to pass. Oh and that some day my legs will be consistently shaved, I'll fit into my favorite jeans, I'll feel like an incredible woman and wife and mother and my husband will make enough money for the mommy makeover (tummy tuck and boob job).

It has been two years since my daddy passed away. It hasn't gotten easier yet. I think about how I wish he could see his granddaughters. How proud he would be. I know he would be here to help get the kids into trouble and how unfair it is that he is not here. He was a stubborn man and I feel that if he went to the doctor for his "heartburn" he would still be here. I guess that is why I finally made an appointment for myself. I also know in my heart that he is watching the girls and watching me.

Well, its feeding time yet again.

Signing off
I love my girls. I miss my husband. I miss me.



Proud Mama.


















Jordan


















Madison















The twins got their RSV shots today. I have the big girls upstairs while Kari is down assisting the nurse. It is really nice that they will come to us. It is quite a production getting the twins loaded up to go anywhere. Tomorrow we have to take them in for "lab work." I am not sure exactly what they are testing for. I think it is to see if their meds need to be adjusted.

They are getting big. Jordan 7lbs. 9.6oz. and Madison 8lbs. 6.4 oz.

This whole affair is been quite taxing. Have you ever been so tired that it hurts? Kari finally made a doctor appointment for herself. The pain from her MVP has been worse. Hopefully some beta blockers will do the trick.

Rylee is a busy little girl. She now knows how to open the peanut butter jar by herself. (enough said - use your imagination.) Good thing that we have dogs. Oh, and Rylee is learning to share. The remainder of the jar she gave to Bunker.

It was really nice having Wayne and June come to visit. It happened to be Papa Wayne's birthday. We got some good pictures.


Reagan and Papa Wayne












Rylee was quite pleased to see Nana.



















Rylee trying to get Wayne to play the "I'm guna git ya" game.


















Reagan is pretty fond of Nana too.


















Wayne with his cake



















Kari and Madison.


















Dad and Jordan. As you can see this is where we spend the majority of our time.











Wayne is a natural. That is Jordan he is holding... I think.

















Left to right: Kari, Madison, Reagan, Nana, and Jordan. If you stop by, be ready to be put to work.













Rylee couldn't make it in to the office today so here she is getting a few things done on line. Those shapes are not going to match themselves.












Nana and Jordan.

Just a quick update. Jordan had another apnea yesterday. It was a little disturbing that the alarm didn't snap her out of it immediately. Although she did not turn blue this time, it took me picking her up to start her breathing again. Kari was upstairs and did not hear the alarm going off and I was about to step outside to char some animal flesh on the grill. I am glad that the alarm went off before I closed the door. We keep the baby monitor outside so we can hear the twins when we are out there but the batteries were low and I had turned it off. I think that Jordan was just in a deep sleep. She was in the swing and she usually finds that soothing. I like to think that she would have come out of it on her own, but it certainly underscores the fact that these two girls still require close attention at all times.

This morning Madison has set off her monitor 5 times with a high heart rate. She must be working on a smelly gift for Mom and Dad.

Jordan 6 lbs. 11 oz. 18.25 inches
Madison 7 lbs. 7 oz. 18.5 inches

I will try to get some better pictures of the twins soon.

Kari's Mom and Papa Wayne are on their way over from San Antonio and should be here late this afternoon. We are looking forward to their arrival. Not only are they fun to have around, they are a great help when they visit. Just to have someone distract the big girls for a little while is really nice.

Special thanks to my good friend, Jay Bason, for the lasagna. Those were some tasty noodles.




Notice the shirt that Mom put on Rylee yesterday after all her adventures.


















Reagan "helping" feed the girls.




















Reagan after being told that she was "helping" too much.


















Rylee inspecting Jordan. She is a very attentive big sister.

Kari was offended by my last post. So hear is my public apology. Sorry shuga.

I didn't mean to start a war. But I still think its funny and she says she still loves me even when I annoy her. She also says that she will get me back.

We are both operating in a semi stupor most of the day. For instance, we have no coffee cups in the cupboard because all are half full and sitting somewhere in the house. Today I had to unwrap Jordan to see if I had changed her diaper, after I had just gotten her reswaddled. I had changed her but I just could not remember for sure. Most times that I enter a room it takes at least 30 seconds to remember why I entered the room. I have not see my car keys in weeks.

Rylee has made our lives more interesting today. We have learned that she needs to be monitored a little more closely.

First:
























Kari walked to the bottom of the stair case on her way to lay Reagan down for a nap. As she approached the stairs she heard Rylee's voice coming from the top. Kari looked up expecting to see her peering down from between the spindles. Instead she saw Rylee looking down at her from the out side of the railing about 12 feet above the marble floor. She had climbed to the very top of the staircase on the outside of the rail and was supporting herself with her toes on the 2" lip that runs outside the railing. It took all of Kari's will power not to scream. She didn't want to startle Rylee while she was in such a precarious position. Rylee, however, must have known that she should not have been up there because she started coming down immediately with a "I've been caught" look on her face. It makes my hands sweat to think about it. We have never hit our children, but Rylee got a swat on the bottom for that one.

Second:

Rylee likes to play outside on the back patio. We usually let her out there and check on her every five minutes or so. We have the area pretty well kid proofed. The gate to the pool is locked and also secured with a leather strap and there is not much else she can get into. If you turn the hose on she will play quietly for a long time. Filling the dog dish and then pouring it out is the favorite pass time. Today she thought that it would be fun to climb up on the chair and water everything on the table.
"Don't leave anything electronic out where there is a child with a hose" is the lesson of the day.

Third:

While Kari and I were tending to the twins in the bedroom we notice that it was a little too quiet. Kari went out to check on the big girls and found that Rylee had gotten into the cabinet below the fish tank. Dad had forgotten to move the bottle of algae killer to a more inaccessible location. She dumped the entire bottle on the kitchen floor and was helping Reagan to smear it around. Fortunately none was ingested and the mess was on tile flooring.


Reagan is really developing. We don't usually let her feed herself with silverware, just because it is so much faster to spoon feed her. Last night I let her go at a bowl of lasagna by herself though and I was impressed with her dexterity. She did get "a little bit" on her face but I think we might have a surgeon on our hands.


























The twins seem to doing just fine. Madison has been a little fussy this morning and we can't figure out what her problem is. Jordan vomited again last night. That only seems to happen after 2 a.m. I am amazed how far a 6 pound child can project partially digested formula. Also amazing is how fast that formula moves. (especially when it is aimed at your face.) She honestly has more "water pressure" than my back yard hose. Well, laundry gives us something to do. You know what they say about idle hands.

Jojo and Mom working on a burp.














Rylee getting a little cuddle time with Madison.











Well we have spent the last several days agonizing over child care help. What do we really need? Do we trust someone with the twins? (No, we have issues.) We explored live in, live out, part time, and full time. A full time nanny will run you about $2000 per month. Many expect health insurance and vacation. (And that is not someone with a medical background.)
I was picturing more of a baby sitter I guess. I was not planning on having to withhold taxes and pay for health insurance. We finally broke down and called in Kari's sister, Rebekah, who agreed to come help out for awhile.

We didn't want to impose on family any more than we had to, but how can you trust some stranger to look after two premature infants. Kari is going to need someone to take at least one feeding per day so that she can get some sleep when I am on a trip.

That is the plan for the moment and we at least feel better about coming to some sort of decision on the matter. It had been stressing us both out.

I would ask Kari, "What do you think we need?"

"I don't know." was the reply.

"Do you want someone living here?"

"I don't know what do you think?"

"I think that you are going to be the one that needs the help while I am gone."

"Look at this one," Kari would say, pointing at the thousandth nanny profile we were looking at. "She looks like a tramp."

"She looks normal to me."

"She is only 19. She is too pretty"

"Well..."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you."

"What about this one?" She says, pointing to a much Larger nanny.

"I don't know. Does she know CPR?"

"What are we going to do?"

"Should we hire an illegal alien?" I asked, "We wouldn't have to withhold taxes."

"NO."

"Well..."

"Will you go make some more coffee?"

"Ok, what do you want for dinner?"

"I don't know."

"Pizza?"

"I am sick of pizza."

"Chicken, steak, pasta?"

"I don't know."

"You have to give me a little help here."

"I DON'T KNOW."

"I will go make coffee. Will you warm up the bottles?"

Madison after a big meal.












Jordan likes the swing.





















Oxygen generator


















Flow meter


















Apnea Monitor










This is how it looks at 3 A.M.













We could very well get them mixed up. They look very much alike. Jordan on the left and Madison on the right.

I think I need a hug


I just found this picture of Reagan's first birthday and thought that the Grandparents might like it.









Right now Kari and I are feeling like we bit off more than we can chew. I know that it will get easier, but right now it is a little overwhelming.

You know how tired you feel when that alarm goes off for the first time, real early in the morning? I felt like that all day yesterday. I am glad that I didn't have to work, I would have been dangerous at the controls. Today is a bit better, but I still think that I could sleep for a week.

I took the dogs to the vet this morning for check ups and flea medication. We have a full blown infestation. Not very much fun. The exterminator is coming tomorrow and we will have to be out of the house for at least four hours. We tried to time it with the twins doctors appointment, but I have the feeling that the bug guy will show up after the appointment. It is very inconvenient since we want to limit the twin's exposure to other people at this point. I guess we will drive around for awhile and bring some DVDs for the kids.

This thing may be the answer to feeding the twins solo. Now if we could just find something that would turn her over and burp her...

Staying busy



Kari with Madison

















Jordan on the left and Madison on the right.
Do you think they are related?












The girls are doing well. No apnea today. Madison is more needy than Jordan so far. I think that she is still having some reflux problems.

We are still trying to find the most efficient way to feed the twins. We have tried one at a time, both in the lap, both propped up on pillows, one in the lap.

Sorry we have not been posting much. It has been really busy. Here is a day in the life of the Spencers: (Will, are you sure you still want to have kids? Just kidding they are great.)

7:45 Mom starts warming up the formula for the 8 a.m. feeding, starts another pot of coffee and mixes up some drugs for the kids. Pours milk for Rylee, who is always up before seven these days.

8:00 Mom changes diapers, takes temperatures, checks oxygen, reswaddles the kids and starts feeding.

8:15 Mom thinks "Boy Rylee has been quiet." A large crash is heard. No crying is heard, so that is good. Better go check anyway. It is a different mess each day. The house is pretty well baby proofed at this point, but the girls still excel at mess making.

8:22 Start the feeding agian.

8:30 Pause for the burps. Reagan is up now, but not crying too much. She can wait for a little bit.

8:45 Still trying to get that burp and finish feeding.

9:00 Clean up after the feeding. Burp cloths go to the dirty clothes, bottles to the sink, twins tucked in bed.

9:15 Get Reagan up and changed and a cup of milk in her hand. Feed the dogs. Feed the cat. Start another load of laundry. Pour another cup of coffee, which will ultimately be left on the counter top to get too cold to drink. Start cooking breakfast for the big girls. Do a load of dishes. Put the dogs outside. Clean up the big girls. Change some more diapers. Clean the high chairs. Let the dogs back in because they are barking at the dog next door. Dress the girls in day clothes (sometimes). Brush teeth. Ect... Don't forget checking on the twins about every 10 to 15 minutes because one or the other is crying. And you can't let Madison cry too long or she sets off her heart monitor.

10:30 Madison get more drugs.

10:45 Dad is up. Bottles are warmed. Coffee is poured (so that it can get cold). More diapers are changed.

11:00 See 8:00 and add Reagan. Reagan is usually pretty good during this feeding. Although, there are several pauses to see what the crying (or the silence) is all about.

12:15 Lunch (sometimes I even take the time to heat something up), clean up, change some more diapers, reheat some coffee and leave it on the counter to get cold.

13:00 Madison gets more drugs.

13:10 Take the girls up stairs to update the blog.

13:12 Open the web page to start typing.

13:13 Put Rylee in "time out" for pushing her sister down. Change some more diapers. Remember your coffee down stairs.

13:16 Get Rylee out of "time out" and sit back down to type.

13:17 Go check on the twins crying.

13:20 Give up on the blog for awhile and play with the kids on the floor.

13:45 Start warming bottles. Clean used bottles. Prepare more formula (if needed).

14:00 See 8:00. Pause to put Reagan down for a nap because she comes in about every 3 minutes to scream at us.

15:00 Get Reagan back up and change some more diapers. Coffee? I can't remember where I placed it to cool so I get a new cup and set it on the counter.

15:15 Actually type a bit on the blog, check the email, play with the kids a bit more.

16:00 Remember where I set the first cup and start a new pot.

16:30 Madison - drugs

17:00 See 8:00 only now both big girls are downright surly.

18:00 Diner for the big girls. Change some diapers. Where the heck is my coffee? More Dishes. More laundry.

18:45 Reheat some leftovers and sip a glass of wine.

19:00 Wonder if your body can take anymore coffee. Police the house for half filled cups of milk. (several look more like cottage cheese.) Baths for the big girls. (sometimes. At least I think that we wash them sometimes.)

19:30 Usually Rea is getting ready for bed. Brush teeth. Change some diapers.

19:45 Heat bottles

20:00 See 8:00 and throw in some more drugs.

Some where between 20:00 and 22:00 Kari goes to bed. We sleep upstairs, sleep is not possible in our bedroom with the twins.

21:00 Clean the kitchen, do more laundry, pick up toys, vacuum. Madison - Drugs. Put Rylee to bed for the first time or second time if she went to bed at 20:00.

22:00 Type on the blog, clean more, or do laundry. Make more coffee. Put Ry back in bed.

22:45 Heat bottles. Put Rylee back in bed.

23:00 See 8:00

00:00 Clean bottles. Do dishes. Do laundry. Take out the trash. Clean the cat's litter box.

01:00 Gather all coffee cups, wash, refill, repeat.

02:00 Feed See 8:00

03:00 Clean up. Try to doze till 04:30 when Kari gets up.

Between 03:00 and 05:00 is when the twins are really fussy. I often have to hold Madison on my chest to keep her quiet.

04:30 Madison gets more drugs Dad goes to bed upstairs.

05:00 Feeding. Between 5:00 and 7:00 Kari has Madison on her chest. I am not sure what it is with that time of day, but she is not happy then.

06:00 Rylee climbs into bed with me and pokes me in the eyes or sticks her fingers in my nose. If I remember to lock the door she just pounds on it for about 15 minutes then goes to poke Kari's eyes while she tries to sleep before the next feeding.

07:00 Rylee gets milk and cartoons are supplied. Those people who say you shouldn't use the TV as a baby sitter need a smack (or more kids).

07:45 It all starts over.

I think that the sleep deprivation effects your memory. I am really not sure how we are doing it, we are just doing it. We still manage to keep the yard mowed, the pool clean, the shopping done, and make the doctor appointments. It is exhausting. I think that the sleep deprivation effects your memory. That is why people have more children. I think that the sleep deprivation effects your memory.




















Mom and Rylee off to the store.

More Apnea

Jordan is still having some issues. She had another apnea while feeding this morning. I really thought that we were past that stage. We will know more after the Oct 10th sleep study. We are not looking forward to the office visit though. We will be looking at about 6 hours in the office and we have not worked out the logistics yet.

This is all pretty challenging, but we are getting it done. Thanks for all the well wishes.

I am really glad that we found a pediatrician that we liked. The first visit today with the twins reinforced my favorable first impression. She seems to be on top of things and very sympathetic to the stress of caring for 4 little girls.

I got the impression that our girls are doing better than the doctor thought that they would be at this point. They continue to gain weight and have had no major health issues. Madison is still in the lead at 6 lbs. 7.5 oz. While Jordan is a close second at 5 lbs 15.5oz. We see the pediatrician again next Tuesday to check electrolytes and overall check up. October 10th we do the sleep study again to see if they can come off the O2.

I am so tired right now that I don't know if

Mark is at the pediatrician with the twins. I keep hearing them cry and listening for alarms. I made bottles and washed laundry (now drying) Hopefully the twins bedding will be dry by the time they get home. I'm trying to get everything sorted, cleaned, mixed, and put away so Mark can go to sleep when he gets home. I so needed that extra few hours of sleep this morning. Now Mark needs to catch up. I really wanted to do a shift change anyway, so maybe we can do that today now that I'm more rested.

Reagan goes to her 15 month check-up on Wednesday or Thursday (thank goodness its written down). Then we are doctor free until ..... next week. LOL!

I have officially lost my mind, but my alter ego is still trying to keep her sanity. I keep repeating "Please Lord, give me patience to endure my blessings!!!"

My heart is giving me issues, highly due to stress. I need to make an appointment for beta-blockers, but when do we have the time?!? I know I need to just do it, before I have any major episodes and scare the crap out of Mark and I.

Pumping breastmilk is now down to 1-2 episodes. Again there is no time. I just need to let go of the guilt and rationalize things. Hard to do without sane mental faculties. I wish energy drinks were more tasty, I can't stomach them. I need to get some chocolate covered coffee beans .... yeah, that'll help the heart.

Reagan is up... so gotta go! We will update after the appointment is over, sometime in the next 48 hours.

And I thought looking after two was tough. Kari is off to the doctor with the little ones and I have Ry and Rea. Two toddlers is a cake walk. I guess it is all relative.

We are still doing it, but we sure are tired. Kari was going to get up for the 5 a.m. shift but she didn't get to bed till late and was exhausted. So I took all the shifts last night. I feel pretty good for having less than 30 minutes of sleep. Fortunately the big girls are being good. ----Were being good--- Rylee just unloaded half of Reagan's closet and locked her sister in the crawl space. It sometimes takes all day to write one post.

Last night Kari and I started adding up how many bottles and how many diapers we go through in a week. 182 diapers per week and 112 bottles of formula. The diaper estimate is on the low side.

Kari got some good shots of Rylee and Reagan "helping" me wash the dogs.



We still need to work on "share." They both like to spray the hose.














Guess what happens next.












Yep. Should have seen that coming.











Reagan was a good sport about it though.











Kari just got back from the eye doctor and the little girls don't have ROP anymore. GOOD!

2 Days!

The girls are 2 days old "adjusted age," which will be used to track development. It is hard to believe that we would have had to wait this long if the girls had gone to term.

Madison and Jordan are doing well. No major issues to speak of at the moment. Madison is still getting a high heart rate intermittently. We will see what the pediatrician has to say about it on Monday. If it was a continuous thing I might be more concerned, but since it is only happening when she gets really mad, I don't think that it is going to be an issue.

It has been a long day today. Neither I nor Kari slept all that well. However, we have gotten quite a bit done today. It is kind of funny that I now consider getting the last load of wash into the dryer and the lawn mowed a major victory.

I stepped out for about an hour after the 8 p.m. feeding. Kari called me about 20 minutes after I left the house. She was quite distraught, but she handled the situation well. Jordan had vomited...A LOT. It was up her nose, in her eyes, all over the bedding, and clogging her throat. Her apnea alarm sounded and when Kari got to her, Jordan was blue. Kari was unable to find the bulb syringe and feeling a bit frantic she turned Jordan over and cleared her mouth and throat with her finger and patted on her back. That got her breathing again and gave Kari some time to hunt for the syringe. Jordan seems fine now, but that episode left us with some lessons.

1. Always have the bulb syringe close by. (Which it was. Right where Kari put it, in the pocket on the side of the bassinet.)

2. Remember where we put the syringe. :)

3. Always have one of the phones in the bedroom. With all those wires the girls are not very portable. If we had to perform CPR it would be difficult to call for help.

4. Remember to thank God for those apnea monitors. The ones that we hoped we wouldn't have to have. I hate to think what would have happened if that alarm had not alerted Kari to the situation.

I woke up this morning to the sound of Reagan screaming and Kari trying to calm her. She has learned to take her diaper off... There was quite a mess in the crib... Not the best way to start the day. Things have improved though.

Kari bought a new stroller. (See the photos below) It is the biggest thing I have ever seen. I am honestly not sure that it will fit in the truck, at least with the back seat up. The girls seemed to approve of the purchase and wanted a ride. The ride was not long enough for Rylee and resulted in a tantrum, which landed her in a time out.

The girls also really enjoyed the box that the stroller came in, which reinforces my belief that kids like the packaging more than the gifts in the packages.

Kari went out to do some shopping and get a hair cut today. Not normally big news, I know, but this is the first time I have looked after all four girls at the same time for an extended period. It is a little challenging but not too bad.

I even had time to snap some photos for the family to enjoy.

The little girls are doing very well. No significant issues today. Like they say, "No news is good news."


Don't turn your back on them for a second or this might happen.






It is fun to chew on "color magic" coloring books.












This beast is called the "Caboose" And yes it is about the size of a train car.











It doubles as a Jungle Gym. I am making a sand pit for it in the back yard.











Don't you remember playing in the boxes. It is fun to relive your youth through your children.

























Guess what happens next... No, I wouldn't do that to my kid!



















Reagan likes ice.


















Madison working on a burp.


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