Kari called me on the verge of tears the other night. "I never ask for help. You were flying, I called my Mom, I called your Mom, I called Meesh, and no one is answering. Still nobody has called me back. I just need to vent. I need a sanity check."
A few days ago Madison figured out how to climb onto the couch. Being that she has not even really figured out the walking thing yet, we thought that was quite an accomplishment. She thinks so too. She is pretty pleased with herself. She will throw both hands up on the couch, get a good grip, get the legs going in a running motion until she gets a foot hold, then using her face for leverage, grunting and snorting, hoists herself all the way onto the couch. After a eighth of a second pause in the face down position, too recover from the effort I assume, she spins into an upright position with her back against the seat and gazes up for recognition from whomever is closest.
At first this was really cute. She would go from one end of the couch to the other as fast as possible, shrieking with delight, flinging herself face down onto the cushions and driving herself forward with only her feet. Climbing up on the couch was the first thing that she has done before Jordan and we were proud of her. Very proud, until she decided that every waking moment should be spent on the couch teetering on the edges and flirting with concussions and broken bones. So Kari removed the coffee table to prevent Madi from smacking her noggin. Then Madison found that it was really fun to climb from the couch to the love seat and back via the end table. And so Kari removed the end tables. Soon we will have no furniture and the entire house will be padded. Maybe we should look into straight jackets as well.
While I was gone on this last trip Madison really perfected her couch mounting technique and decided that there was really no place she would rather be than up on that couch. After she took a nose dive over the back of the couch it was obvious that she would require either more supervision or confinement. Fortunatly we keep the big dog pilows right behind the couch and she survived her tumble with no serious damage. You would think that a fall like that would scare her enough that she wouldn't do it agian, but no. Kari was spending every second spotting our little gymnast and this left little time to devote to the other three kids. Every time Kari needed to deal with a child she was forced to put Madison in her exer-saucer and endure high pitched screaming until Madison was released again to pursue her goal of reaching the top of Mt. Pleather. At one point, while all the girls were distracted in the dinning room, Kari thought she had an oppertunity to slip away and use the restroom before Madi would remember that she was no longer on the couch. So Kari slipped away for about 90 seconds of "me time." When she emerged from the bathroom she was greeted by complete kaos. Madison of course was teetering precariously from the top of the couch with one leg over the back. Reagan had pushed a chair into the kitchen, gotten up on the counter, extracted the scissors from the butch block holder and was waiving them around with delight. Rylee had gone into the bathroom and was screaming bloody murder because she had gotten a drop of pee on her panties. And Jordan, with all the comotion, was just wandering around screaming at the top of her lungs. It is truly amazing how fast things can go down hill.
We don't encourage climbing on the furniture. However, if you have kids, you know that you can not reason with a one year old or a three year old for that matter. This is a new experience, being in a position to have to discipline the twins. We have spent the last year pretty much catering to their every need, leaping into action at the slightest whimper. Now that they are mobile they are going to have to conform to the rules just like the big girls. Now the challenge is to make them understand the rules. "No climbing or jumping on the couch" is at the top of the list.
The party came together much better than I thought. We had a pretty good turn out and another confidence builder is behind us. We may actually be able to maintain some sort of social life.
I was so pleased that my folks could join us. The twins have changed so much since the last time that they saw them and photos just don't do it justice.
Kari seems in much better spirits now that it is all over. She was a little stressed about the cake, but it turned out wonderfully.
I will add the rest of the pictures to the slide show here soon.
And to Papa and Grandmom,
You should know that when I was putting Rylee to bed this evening she looked up at me and said "I love Papa...and I love Grandmom." I think that unsolicited "I love you's" are the best.
Jordan dug right in.
Madison got a slow start, but got the hang of it quickly.
We felt bad that we didn't get around to opening the presents. We got to the gifts this morning. Rylee and Reagan had to show the twins how it is done.
Now that our rug rats are moving more and more toward "solid" food. I say solid, but it is actually much closer to a liquid, more like a gel really. Anyway, now that they are eating solids I have observed more defenses that need to be added to the list of Postnatal Jujitsu techniques that every parent should be familiar with. And I will again discuss my own countermeasures for each of these defenses and will admit when I have no ideas also.
I have found that their techniques are not always aimed at thwarting your efforts to feed them, some are strictly to cause frustration by creating a larger mess. For instance:
The Spitting Simian
They only use this if their attempts to prevent food from entering their mouths have failed. Now that they have the food in their mouths they figure that they might as well have some fun while they are at it. They wait till you get a really big mouthful inserted and you have scooped the excess off of their chin, they take a moment to be sure that they have eye contact with you and then they strike. With their eyes locked on yours, their lips pursed, they forcefully expel the semi solid slop out with a Phbbbbbt! and then, with out breaking eye contact, give you a big toothless grin and stick out their tongues. A smile that I am sure means "gotcha, ya sap!"
There is nothing that you can do about it. Go get a wash cloth. On second thought you better wait because they never do this just once and if you clean up the mess now you are just falling further into their trap.
The Snapping Crocodile
At some point they may decide to allow you some hope of completing your task in the next hour, by opening their mouths, as if they really do want you to spoon some of that unidentifiable mush into their mouths. You might think to yourself "All right, they are hungry, we will have this over with in no time." But you are sadly mistaken. Just as you get a heaping spoonful near their lips they lunge forward and bite down on the tip of the spoon and, while clamped down, continue to thrust forward. This way they can use their lips and gums to force the glop of runny green beans off the spoon and into their laps as they thrust their heads forward. There must be some sort of competition to see how many times you will fall for that in a row, because they will immediately pop their mouths open again, as if to say "You really dropped the ball there, why don't you have another go at it?" They do so enjoy watching you try to clean it all up.
Again not much you can do to counter this other that to work on your speed. You have to get that spoon in there before they can clamp down, but don't insert it too far. If you gag the kid you might be looking at a much larger mess.
The Twisting Serpent
Most often used after the Spiting Simian or Snapping Crocodile. For this to be effective for your opponent, their face must already be fairly well covered with food. As soon as you make a move toward them with a loaded spoon they will twist away and wipe their face all over the back of the highchair, which means you will now have to clean their backs as well as their fronts.
All you can do is wait for them to get bored with it.
The Frightened Turtle
After they have become bored with all the other games they will sometimes just thump their heads down on the tray and remain there, as if their navels have suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world. They cover up like a heavyweight in a title fight. Trying to get another spoonful in at this point would be akin to landing a right hook on Mike Tyson's nose.
This technique will prevent you from even attempting to deliver more food and has the added perk of smearing the food that is inevitably on the tray (see the Spitting Simian) all over the forehead.
Again, not much you can do. Wait it out or if you are brave you could try to lift the head back up, but I have not had great success with that. You are just looking at a bigger mess.
The Gorilla Grip and the Flailing Feline
Similar techniques, both aimed at preventing the spoon loaded with goo from ever reaching its intended target. The Gorilla Grip entails grasping the spoon as close to the loaded end as possible, for more control. Once the spoon is under control it can be easily dumped down the chest or rubbed along the face. The Flailing Feline is more of a pure defense. Using the forearms the spoon is deflected and the contents relocated to the floor or lap. Once your opponent has control of the spoon with the Gorilla Grip, it can be very difficult to regain control. Their strength is surprising. Be careful here, you might be tempted to set down the bowl to peel their fingers off the spoon. This is just what they want you to do. No sooner than you set that bowl down they will shoot that free arm out in a flash and grab the bowl that you were silly enough to set on the tray. At any rate they will now have enough food on their hands to make running their fingers through their hair totally worth the effort.
Thank you for reading this latest public service reminder.
Yesterday it was one year since Kari was diagnosed with twin to twin transfusion syndrome. We sat out in the back yard and enjoyed a glass of wine in celebration.
It occurred to me that she never really told me about that trip to the doctor's office and I asked her to tell me about it.
Dr. Reiter had always maintained a somewhat cold, clinical, attitude and had warned her from the begining that there might be complications, including twin to twin. Soon after he started that untrasound he stopped and told Kari "We need to get you into the hospital today. They have twin to twin transfusion. It may already be too late. You should prepare yourself to lose baby B."
Obviously this was very upsetting to Kari and she began to sob, unable to maintain her composer. Dr. Reiter's demeanor changed from cold and clinical to warm and supporting. He put one hand on her shoulder and one on top of her head. "We will get you in today, we will do an amnio-reduction and we will go from there." He never again mentioned morbidity.
I have to say that I am glad that she didn't tell me at that point to plan on losing one of the twins and glad that she never shared the statistics that our kids would live, it was less than 20%. It never occured to me that we might lose one or both until I saw them in the NICU. I will never forget how small and pale Jordan appeared. She seemed to be nothing but ribs and a little head. I recall vividly how her little rib cage was rising and falling with such effort to get her body that desparately needed oxygen.
And so, I am reminded that we have two miracles and I should cherish every moment that I have with all of my girls. Even when they are screaming and I am exhausted and the house is trashed and the laundry is piling up and they are working my last nerve... Even then.
It has been a little while since I posted. We have been busy.
It is a lot more work with out any help, but we are doing it and we are still married.
The twins are doing really well. The feeding issues seem to be almost non existent at this point. They are doing very well on solid food. They are both pulling themselves into standing positions, but Jordan is still in the lead as far as development goes. I still think that Jordan will be walking by her first birthday. They are moving at will through the house and you have to watch your step. They are both facinated by the dogs and cat. The pets seem to like the attention, even if the twins are a little rough on them. The cat will actually seek the twins out to get attention and puts up with more tail pulling that I thought he would.
Reagan is just Reagan. Still no respect for authority. She does things that she knows that she shouldn't and when you catch her she just smiles, giggles, and moves on to something else that she knows she shouldn't be into. Armed with that smile and those eyes, I think that she will go far in this world.
Rylee has been a little accident prone the last couple of days and has chalked up the first real injury among the kids. She was playing with a large rock in the back yard. The rock, which was slightly larger than my fist, was lots of fun until she dropped it on her big toe. Her entire toe turned purple and her nail will fall off according to the doctor. The toe has since become infected, she is now on antibiotics, is restricted from the pool, must have the toe cleaned three times a day and must wear socks at all times.
Rylee called for me the day before yesterday as I was feeding the twins. "Daddy, daddy, daddy, DAAAAADDDYYY!" This is not unusual. "Rylee, you need to wait till I am done feeding the twins."
"Daddy?"
"Rylee, Daddy is busy. You need to wait."
"Daddy! Please."
"Sigh!" I get up to see what toy is malfunctioning or what marker needs to be uncapped. Then I see my oldest daughter at the bottom of the stairs. I could not make eye contact with her because her back was to me and she was unable to turn around. She was unable to turn around because her head was stuck in the banister. My first thought was "I should get the camera." Isn't that the one thing that every kid does at some point. How is it that the head fits through so easily, but won't come back out?
After examining the situation more closely, I was unable to conclude how she got her head in there in the first place. You would think that it would be just the ears that would prevent her from reversing her position, but there wasn't even enough room for the back of her head to fit back through the railing. I figured that there must be a specific angle that would allow her head to come back out if we just got her ears tucked in. With one hand on her chin and the other on the back of her head, I moved her noggin this way and that to no avail.
By this time the twins are screaming, Rylee is whimpering, and Reagan quiet (which we all know is not good.).
"Karrrri, I need some help!" At this point I was beginning to think that I may have to get my saws-all out and cut up my stairway. Which would have been kind of fun since I don't have many excuses to use it. So I started to look at the railings, wondering how hard it was going to be to replace. "Too hard." So with Kari pushing and me pulling while stretching the rails apart we finally got her head free. We managed to bruise her ear pretty good. I bet she won't do that again.
I hear that things like that happen in threes, so we are waiting for the next disaster to occur.
I think that it is a full time job just to change diapers. So far this morning, between 7:30 and noon, I have changed eight diapers, five of which required more than three wipes. That, by the way, is how dirty diapers are rated. From no wipes to about five wipes. A "five wiper" is quite spectacular and usually entails washing the changing table cover and cleaning under your nails. I have heard baby poop is one part toxic waste and one part velcro, and I can assure you that that description is fairly accurate.
If you are squeamish about poop, don't have kids and avoid dogs too. Bunker has soiled the floor two nights in a row. I don't know what his deal is, but it is not a nice way to wake up. Yesterday he left me a present in every room of the house and peed by the door for good measure.
Despite all the feces, we managed to get the house mostly clean in preparation for Nana and Grandpa Wayne, who are coming over for Mother's day weekend.
The opponents have gone mobile and can now attack from unexpected directions. You really have to watch were you step. It is not uncommon now to set a baby down on the floor, go get a bottle and then have to make a room to room search for said baby.
Jordan especially has taken to the crawling and seems pretty pleased with herself for figuring that out. Madison, as usual, is about a week behind. She can skooch across the room, but her technique needs some work.
They have also gotten pretty good at moving about in their walkers. They can work up a pretty good head of steam from one end of the kitchen to the other. Whoever designed those walkers either has a sense of humor or is a moron. The bottom of those walkers are just the right height to glide over your toes gash the sensitive skin on the top of your foot. More than once I have been forced to throw myself in front of an onrushing walker and subject my feet to sever damage to save a toddler who was playing carelessly in the middle of the thoroughfare/kitchen. It makes me uneasy thinking of when they turn sixteen and want to drive. Right now they are utterly reckless, a down right menace, showing complete disregard for their own safety and the safety of those around them.
Rylee and Reagan both continue to amaze me. Even taking into account my obvious bias, I think that they are both very bright. Rylee is very organized and likes to have her toys placed in patterns, symmetrically, when she plays. She has gotten into puzzles and surprised me with how well she was doing with a 100 piece jigsaw. Her vocabulary is expanding rapidly, even to include one four letter word that Kari let slip while changing Madison and finding no diapers and no wipes after removing a very soiled diaper.
Reagan is picking up many words also and likes to do everything that Rylee does, much to Rylee's chagrin. You know that your brother or sister always has the better toy. Pushing is still an issue with both of them, but Rylee is usually the instigator. However, they can play nice and do spend plenty of time chasing each other around the house.
The big girls have gotten in the habit of coming down stairs and crawling into bed with us first thing in the morning, I love it.
I have spent the last several days fretting over my malfunctioning pool filter. The entire bottom of the pool is filled with the diatomacious earth (DE) that lines the filter.
I didn't really have the money to spend to have someone come look at it and I have never serviced that type of filter. So after hours of searching the internet for pool filter maintenance tips and a couple of trips to the pool store I decided to take on the job my self.
I carefully removed the housing to the filter, half expecting the thing to blow up. After reading all the warning labels on it you would think the thing is filled with plutonium. With Reagan's help I got the filter disassembled and over to the pool store for replacement parts. I was feeling kinda proud of myself after getting it all reinstalled this evening. All I had left to do was turn on the pump and recharge the filter with DE.
So I dumped 12 scoops of the stuff down the skimmer, just like the pool guy said. I then went to tuck my wife in and finish up some dishes that were scattered about the kitchen. (Yep we actually ate dinner tonight. With all the kids awake, no less.)
For some reason I decided to take one more look at the pool before turning in. I don't know why, but I am glad that I did. When I opened the back door the first thing that I noticed was the unusually loud noise of the pool pump. It is normally a barely noticeable hum. And on top of that I heard the sound of splashing water coming from the pump area. I knew that couldn't be good news.
No where did I read that you should not run your pool cleaner (it has its own dedicated pump) while you are recharging your DE filter. If I had read something about it, it may have read something like this: WARNING: IF YOU RUN YOUR POOL CLEANER AT THE SAME TIME THAT YOU PUT DE DOWN THE SKIMMER THE LINES TO YOUR POOL CLEANER WILL BECOME BLOCKED WITH THE DE POWER AND CAUSE YOUR PIPES TO EXPLODE.
If I could form complete sentences, I would say that your pipes are going to burst and the water right here will be about up to my knees. Good luck Dad.
Yep, I was feeling pretty smart even after spending $200 in parts. I was feeling pretty smart until I was standing ankle deep in water next to my pool pump, a flash light in one hand and scratching my head with the other. Wondering "Where is all that water coming from?"
By the time I get done with this project I will no doubt have been better off calling someone who knew what they were doing. I only hope that the only break in the line is the one that I can see by the pump. I don't even want to think about a broken line underground.
But, now I know. Chalk it up as an other lesson learned.
The twins are enjoying the play time on the floor more and more.
The big girls like it too. Dad makes a pretty good jungle gym.
After most play times on the floor we find the big girl's dolls recreating the fun. Interesting, huh?
Rylee helping Mom feed Jordan.
At the end of play time we all take a break and watch some cartoons. Dora seems to be the favorite.
Do you like my hat? Would you like to try it on? OK!
There you go, Jordan. What do you think?
Why, I think it fits just right. Thank you Rylee.
It has really been nice to have Grandmom around. Here Rylee is helping her make a cake. I think these will be cherished memories.
OOOhh! Eggs!
Stir, stir, stir.
Then taste and stir some more.
Don't forget to lick the bowl.
Even Reagan helped lick the bowl.
We had to document the first attempt at solid food.
They held hands for moral support.
Jordan wasn't too sure that this was the greatest thing she has ever tried.
Madison seemed to like it a little better, but still ended up wearing more than she ate. I guess that is par for the course.
Jordan, however, was still willing to give it another try.
The view from over Mom's shoulder.
Reagan was feeling left out during all of this. A good way to get attention is just to be under foot.
Bunker, the head of security, was on hand just in case some food ended up on the floor.
Rylee was more interested researching kitty cats on You tube.
Rylee is ready for the paparazzi. I think this is the first time that she hasn't wanted her picture taken. She is usually quite the ham.
Mom really got Madison laughing during clean up operations.
This is Reagan at the park today. And I just found out the maximum number of photos you can upload at one time is this many. More tomorrow.
Well, I always have been in love with my wife. However, the last year and especially the last six months have tested us. I won't lie, it has been hard on our relationship, the last eight months have been filled with constant worry. Worry about the twins, worries about money, worries about Kari's health, it has been a bit overwhelming. We have not had much time to concentrate on the two of us. Heck, I've barely been allowed to touch her since she was six month pregnant, and that was a long time ago. The only time that we are able to sit and talk is between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. about three days a week and I can't really remember the last time that we were alone for any length of time. I don't know what we would do with out all the help from the nannies, but it is nice to be with just my wife.
This fact was apparently not lost on my Mother. She and Mary Ellen conspired to get us out of the house last night. Mary Ellen showed up a little early so that we could get ready, Grandmom stuffed some money in my shirt pocket and they basically kicked us out.
We had no real plan, but hopped in the truck and headed out. We decided to hit our old stomping ground around Kingwood. We would hit Zeo's for dinner and then stop by Pop's ice house and see if any of the old gang was about. As we drove south on I45 I realized that we were both relaxed. "That is unusual." I though to myself. Kari even laughed at my corny sense of humor. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel the need to be careful of what I said. I have tried hard not to say anything to Kari that might make her depressed, because while she is much better, she still has some "down" times. That is part of the problem with postpartum depression, when she is feeling better you may think "Okay, we are passed that and she is back to normal." but the depression is persistent and it comes and goes. And sometimes the most innocuous comment can send her spiraling back down into a blue funk. However, last night she seemed like a new person. I saw her laugh more last night than I had in the last year.
I have to say that I wasn't all that excited about going out on the town at first. I was feeling a little tired and ever the miser, I was thinking of other more productive things that we could be spending that money on. But seeing how it lifted Kari's spirits (and mine), it was money well spent.
The dinner was good. We had what we always have when we go to Zeo's, the Greek pasta and spinach artichoke dip. Normally I would be down on myself for being in a rut and ordering the same thing every time, but we had not been out to eat in so long that it really couldn't be considered a rut.
I definitely wouldn't call us bar flies, but we used to spend a bit of time at the local biker watering hole and we had become close with many of regulars and hoped some of them might be around. It seemed likely on a Saturday night that we would run into someone that we knew. It felt familiar as we pulled into the parking lot of our favorite dive and we spotted some friendly faces as we entered through the roll up, garage type, doors. There were a few of the regulars left, but the bar is now under new management and most of the regular crowed that we knew had moved on to haunt new dives. We did get the low down on many of the most interesting characters from our past and enjoyed some live music.
The table that we sat at was constructed from 55 gallon drums and 2x4s. The wood worn smooth by countless elbows and carve on with pocket knifes. Yes, this is just our kind of place. As I sat there enjoying a chilly adult beverage, a pretty good cover of a Rolling Stone's song washing over me, I glanced up at my wife. She was engaged in a deep conversation of who did what to whom with an unsavory looking character named Tim (who has a heart of gold by the way, but you wouldn't know it to look at him.) And she glanced over at me and gave me a big smile. I got flutters in my stomach, the kind of giddy flutters that you got Christmas morning just before its time to open the presents. She has always done that to me, but I realized I hadn't gotten that feeling in a long time. I had been too distracted, too stressed out. I realized how much I really love this woman and I think we are doing pretty good job getting over this bump in the road.
Kari won't like this picture I am sure, but I do and it is nice to see her smiling so much more.
It is sometimes hard to remember to enjoy the moments we have with these precious gifts. Especially when they are doing this all at the same time. But I sure do feel lucky to have them.
We started this blog to keep everyone up to date on the twins and I sometimes get off track in that respect. They are doing really well. The doctor says that very soon they won't be getting special attention for being preemies. They are ahead of were they should be developmentally.