Blogger Template by Blogcrowds

Now that our rug rats are moving more and more toward "solid" food. I say solid, but it is actually much closer to a liquid, more like a gel really. Anyway, now that they are eating solids I have observed more defenses that need to be added to the list of Postnatal Jujitsu techniques that every parent should be familiar with. And I will again discuss my own countermeasures for each of these defenses and will admit when I have no ideas also.

I have found that their techniques are not always aimed at thwarting your efforts to feed them, some are strictly to cause frustration by creating a larger mess. For instance:

The Spitting Simian

They only use this if their attempts to prevent food from entering their mouths have failed. Now that they have the food in their mouths they figure that they might as well have some fun while they are at it. They wait till you get a really big mouthful inserted and you have scooped the excess off of their chin, they take a moment to be sure that they have eye contact with you and then they strike. With their eyes locked on yours, their lips pursed, they forcefully expel the semi solid slop out with a Phbbbbbt! and then, with out breaking eye contact, give you a big toothless grin and stick out their tongues. A smile that I am sure means "gotcha, ya sap!"

There is nothing that you can do about it. Go get a wash cloth. On second thought you better wait because they never do this just once and if you clean up the mess now you are just falling further into their trap.

The Snapping Crocodile

At some point they may decide to allow you some hope of completing your task in the next hour, by opening their mouths, as if they really do want you to spoon some of that unidentifiable mush into their mouths. You might think to yourself "All right, they are hungry, we will have this over with in no time." But you are sadly mistaken. Just as you get a heaping spoonful near their lips they lunge forward and bite down on the tip of the spoon and, while clamped down, continue to thrust forward. This way they can use their lips and gums to force the glop of runny green beans off the spoon and into their laps as they thrust their heads forward. There must be some sort of competition to see how many times you will fall for that in a row, because they will immediately pop their mouths open again, as if to say "You really dropped the ball there, why don't you have another go at it?" They do so enjoy watching you try to clean it all up.

Again not much you can do to counter this other that to work on your speed. You have to get that spoon in there before they can clamp down, but don't insert it too far. If you gag the kid you might be looking at a much larger mess.

The Twisting Serpent

Most often used after the Spiting Simian or Snapping Crocodile. For this to be effective for your opponent, their face must already be fairly well covered with food. As soon as you make a move toward them with a loaded spoon they will twist away and wipe their face all over the back of the highchair, which means you will now have to clean their backs as well as their fronts.

All you can do is wait for them to get bored with it.

The Frightened Turtle

After they have become bored with all the other games they will sometimes just thump their heads down on the tray and remain there, as if their navels have suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world. They cover up like a heavyweight in a title fight. Trying to get another spoonful in at this point would be akin to landing a right hook on Mike Tyson's nose.
This technique will prevent you from even attempting to deliver more food and has the added perk of smearing the food that is inevitably on the tray (see the Spitting Simian) all over the forehead.

Again, not much you can do. Wait it out or if you are brave you could try to lift the head back up, but I have not had great success with that. You are just looking at a bigger mess.

The Gorilla Grip and the Flailing Feline

Similar techniques, both aimed at preventing the spoon loaded with goo from ever reaching its intended target. The Gorilla Grip entails grasping the spoon as close to the loaded end as possible, for more control. Once the spoon is under control it can be easily dumped down the chest or rubbed along the face. The Flailing Feline is more of a pure defense. Using the forearms the spoon is deflected and the contents relocated to the floor or lap. Once your opponent has control of the spoon with the Gorilla Grip, it can be very difficult to regain control. Their strength is surprising. Be careful here, you might be tempted to set down the bowl to peel their fingers off the spoon. This is just what they want you to do. No sooner than you set that bowl down they will shoot that free arm out in a flash and grab the bowl that you were silly enough to set on the tray. At any rate they will now have enough food on their hands to make running their fingers through their hair totally worth the effort.

Thank you for reading this latest public service reminder.


Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home