It has been fun and frustrating at times with these four girls. My only real regret is that I don't feel like I have enough time to devote to each one of them individualy. They all need a little one on one Dad time. It is very difficult to give individual attention unless you leave the house with that child. If I sit on the floor I am swarmed by all of them which, without exception, leads to some sort of scuffle.
I do have to say that we probably baby the twins more than we should, at least compared to the other two girls. But, can you blame us? We are still very much affected by our trials getting them here and healthy. I really don't think anyone who has not been through it could possibly understand. The emotions caused by seeing you children barely clinging to life are deep seated and for a long time linger just below the surface. I don't think that I will ever be the same. So yes we baby the babies even though they are approaching toddler stage.
Reagan and the twins, especially Madi, have a tumultuous relationship. Reagan doesn't understand yet that she can fend off the twins without pushing and shoving. It is a difficult situation disciplining Reagan for only trying to protect herself. Madison can be brutal. If a sibling has something that she wants she will literally tackle her, pull hair, and gouge eyes. And she does it all with no expresion on her face. Its kind of scary, she is a brute. If Madison has a goal she just goes and goes until she gets it. At least when it comes to her sisters. If she is not getting her way with Mom and Dad she resorts to laying face down on the floor and screaming, the "sack of potatos" technique. Reagan needs to have her space and when the twins invade that space she either shoves them down, which we discourage, or she stands there and screams, which we discourage. I almost prefer the shoving the twins down technique. When Reagan just stands there and screams it seems to encourage the twins to try to touch her more. They look like little Frankenstiens loping at her on unsteady legs with arms out stretched. And God forbid that the twins pick up one of her plush toys, "Lovies" as Kari has doubed them. Even if the twins pick them up to give them to Reagan the sight of one of them holding her prized possesions sends her into a near blind rage. She will rush forward and snatch the lovies from their grasp with tears streaming down her face and rush to the safety of another room. There is no explaining to her that the twins were trying to help.
On the other hand Reagan can be very sweet to the twins. On occation she will bring them toys, tickle them, and sometimes feed them. It is very touching to watch. Most times, however, we are just trying to keep the peace.
Rylee is very good with the twins. She is much more tollerant than Reagan. She doesn't throw a fit if they climb up on the same couch she is on, she actually encourages the twins to join her. She will put up with them climbing on her and doesn't totally lose her cool when they pull her hair. She doesn't like it mind you, but unlike Reagan she can deal with it most times.
Rylee is growing up so fast. I know that every parent says that sort of thing, but it is true. They grow up really fast. I am affaid that I am going to miss something. Her latest thing is pointing out all the things that she wants. Wether it is a catalog or a tv commercial she will point at nearly everything and pronounce "I want that!"
"Well...Christmas is coming. Maybe you will get that. But you know we don't always get everything we want, right?" in my usual reply. I think that only encourages her.
Kari and I are starting to get a little concerend about Reagan's speech. I have no doubt that she will be speaking clearly before she goes to college, but we feel that she should be speaking more clearly at this stage. Again, I wonder if maybe we have not been spending enough one on one time with her. We can understand many of her words and she obviously understands much of what we are saying to her, but I don't think anyone else would get much of what she says. She seems to have trouble with many of the major sounds, especially S, P, T, and R. The word more comes out as "moy", for example. This was cute for a little while, but we are starting to get concerend. I guess if there is a problem I would like to address it as soon as possible.
Not much else new to report. My last trip was totally uneventful. Except that the captain I was flying with felt the need to play the role of "flight instrutor" the entire trip. I will be the first to admit that I still have things to learn, but I have been flying for over 16 years and am a pretty competent pilot. Being micromanaged for a whole trip can be tedious. I am glad to be home.
Lets see, whats new...
I just got yesterday from a fairly uneventful trip. Take offs equaled landings. Although, there was one landing in SAN that was "interesting". The Captain was making the landing. The approach was normal till the last two hundred feet.
The approach to runway 27 takes you right over the city and right over some fairly good sized buildings right off the end of the runway, so many pilots tend to stay a little high. At that airport I usually just "thump" it on the runway and try for a smooth landing next time, but the captain got my attention by trying to make this one smooth when we were all ready high and fast.
When we past mid field and still had not touched down I started to worry a bit.
Being a first officer can be a difficult position, when is exactly the right time to speak up to avert a dangerous situation. Speak up too soon and you may have overreacted and offended your "boss", the guy you have to fly with for the next several days. Speak up too late and you could end up in a twisted ball of flaming metal at the end of the runway. If there is a screw up the captain is not the only guy to go down with the ship. Even if there is no accident, if the FAA gets involved and violates you for an infraction the crew goes down together. So I always tend to speak up right away if I don't agree with what is going on. However, there is very small window to speak up from the time you cross the threshold of the runway to the time you touch down. The words "Get us on the ground!" where just about to escape my lips when we touched down. He used full reverse thrust and was standing on the brakes pretty good. Normally, ever since oil prices went through the roof, we minimal revers thrust, so I know he was somewhat concerned too. It turns out that we had some runway left and it wasn't quite as serious as I thought at first. Never the less, at this stage in my career, my hands should not be sweaty after landing an airplane.
That aside, the trip was pretty uneventful. Which is just how they should be.
Crisis and drama always seem to hit right when I am due to leave for a trip. Every time Kari went into premature labor it was the night before I was supposed to leave for four days. My last trip Kari went to bed the night before with an eye irritation. I was sympathetic, but not overly concerned. I was up very early, showered shaved, dressed. Kari wandered in to use the bathroom and stopped dead in her tracks when she opened the door. Her hands flew to her face and I thought that she might actually topple over. I quickly switched the lights off and she relaxed a little.
"Are you okay?" I asked her.
"My eye...It really hurts... I can't stand the light."
I was a little more concerned now, but what was I supposed to do? I was getting ready to walk out the door for four days. I figured "She will be alright." But she wasn't. I went out the the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and Kari came out after a few minutes. I had all of the lights off, but even the glow of the laptop on the counter was causing her sever pain.
"I need to go to the emergency room." she said.
"Okay." I said okay, but I was thinking this is not okay, I have to go to work. It is frowned upon to call in at the last minute and delay a flight. Who is going to watch the kids? It is 5:45 a.m. who can I call? I decided to call Mary Ellen, our former nanny. There was no answer. Great. I called our neighbor from across the street and got an answering machine again. Greeeeaaat. I was getting ready to call work and tell them I wasn't going to be there when Mary Ellen called back and said that she was on her way over. That was a relief. However, we really needed to be walking out the door if we were going make it to the hospital and then to the airport before my report time. So we waited. I tend to pace in situations like this.
Mary Ellen showed up in about 15 or 20 minutes, but it seemed like an hour. I drove Kari to the ER. We looked at eachother, I looked at my watch. I couldn't just toss her out and say "Good luck with that!"
"Do you want me to go in with you?" I asked. Knowing that I was going to anyway.
"Would you?" she said in a pittiful voice.
"Of course."
Fortunatley it wasn't busy and we got started with the check in process. I looked at my watch again. "I really have to go." I said "Are you going to be okay?"
"Yes." She said. It didn't sound convincing.
I gave her a kiss on the head and sprinted to the truck, feeling like a total shmuck. What kind of husband would just dump his wife in the ER and then just run off. Well, I didn't like it, but I did it. It turns out that she had a scratched cornea. Apparently, that hurts like nobody's businenss. She told me later that she would rather go through labor again before having a scratch on her eye. Now I have never felt that, thank God, but I have seen a woman in labor and it doesn't look like fun.
I made my flight on time, but it was close. I just kept telling myself "Well...They can't leave without you."
Then on this last trip I went out to the truck, all dressed up in my monkey suit, and the damn thing wouldn't start. For most people that wouldn't be a big deal, but considering the logistics of loading and travelling with four kids in car seats it seemed very inconvienient at the time. I made it on time again.
When Kari came to pick me at the end of my trip we decided to eat out. Another logistical nightmare that we are slowly getting the hang of. She asked me to decide on a place to eat. I thought that pizza would be easy and the kids seem to like it. Finding anything that they will eat now is a challenge in itself. "Chuck E. Cheese's, I usued to like that when I was a kid, I bet the girls will love it." And so off we went, with Kari clearly regreting asking me to choose the spot.
"Do they server anything except pizza?" She asked.
"I don't know, Do you want to go someplace else?"
"Oh... I don't care."
"Alright then."
Now I don't know if I never noticed it before or if our perspective has changed since we moved to a nicer section of town, but the east side of town seems more...what is the word?... Low rent and dirty. Chuck E. Cheese's was packed and the clientel had a distinctly "working class" feel to them. Not that I have any problem with that, but the whole place just seemed a little unclean. After 16 months of sterilizing everything and obsesive washing and protecting the twins from any chance of infection this was a bit of a shock for us. We ordered the aptly named fun feast and with babies in our arms we towed high chairs and toddlers through the throngs of unwashed people to a semi clean booth. I brushed of the table with a napkin and got the girls situated. Kari and I sat and looked at eachother for a moment, just taking a breather now that everyone was corralled.
"I really feel like washing my hands..." I said.
"Me too, this place just feels dirty, doesn't it?"
But we were there so we sucked it up and ate some pizza. The fun feast includes fifty tokens for the games so we were compeled to wade again throught the throng with squirming babies and curious toddlers to find the games that dispense tickets, which can be turned in for cheap, colorful, plastic, junk.
It was quite an adventure.
Anyone know what the incubation period is for Ecoli?
I am very pleased the Rylee's vocabulary is expanding. She has no problem speaking at all. Now the problem is she won't stop talking...ever. And that isn't the worst part. You are required to participate no matter what you are doing. We are working on the "don't interrupt when Mom and Dad are talking" but when you stop to tell her that, you have just rewarded the behavior that you were trying to deter. It would be different if she had a point when she was engaging you in conversation, but it is usually "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" And I am thinking if I just ignore her she will wait until I am done changing this diaper. However, she persists " Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"
"What, honey?"
"Daddy, red. Red Daddy."
"Yes, Rylee the wall is red." Or the sky is blue, or her hair is pretty or ect.
One of the most trying moments is when she has to use the restroom. She insists on informing you prior to taking care of her bodily functions. "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, I go pee pee... I GO PEE, I GO PEE PEE!" She will wait until she gets confirmation before she will go to the bathroom. She will wet her pants before she will go to the toilet without clearance from the tower. "GO PEE, HURRY!"
I don't mean to sound coarse or insensitive, I know that it is just a stage. It can sometimes even be amusing, but I am ready for this stage to be over. And yes, I know that we will go through this three more times.
Well we made it another year and that makes five. I figure with all Kari and I have been through in the last two years we can make it through pretty much anything. Due to our renters not paying up, we kept the evening low key. That and June and Wayne came over to see us and the grand babies. I found a great deal on filet mignon and we had ourselves a feast. We had a great time. Not the most romantic anniversary we have ever had, but it was very pleasant. It is always nice to have some family around to help out with the kids if even for a little while.
The kids are all doing great. Rylee is still a drama queen. She melts down and the slightest perceived insult from a sister or the mildest rebuke. She is a sweet girl though and enjoys making the twins laugh. She and Reagan play together more and more, which is nice sometimes. When they are chasing eachother around the house and giggling it is great, but when they are fighting over toys and pushing eachother down it is another matter.
We are still trying to get in gear to potty train Reagan. She is ready, but it is still so much work with all the kids. It is not convenient to run a kid to the bathroom every 15 minutes. She is probably the most cuddly of the four. There is no better feeling than having a two year old's hands on your face or her breath on your neck as she squeezes your neck tight.
The twins are growing and changing so fast. They have started to talk a little bit. Jordan seems to be a little more laid back and independant. Madison is a bit of a brute. It is not uncommon for her to attempt to pull a sibling off my lap by the hair or confiscate a toy from Jordan. She shows not the least bit of remorse for causing her sister's tears. However, if she is not getting her way she will lay in a heap on the floor and just wail.
Kari's Mom has been in Houston to help open the new Costco downtown. On Sunday we all went down for a tour. Reagan was just in awe. All those people and those things to touch. It must be a little overwhelming when you are only 34 inches tall. I do like walking around with her on my sholders, her little hands grasping my cheeks. The twins didn't make a peep the whole time. They just sat there wide eyed, taking it all in. I think June had a good time showing off the grand kids to all her co-workers.
Last night was the first night in a long time that Kari and I actually took time for just the two of us together. We learned how to play Backgammon and she beat me 4 out of 5 games. It is easy to get caught up with all the day to day things that need to be done with four kids and miss out on your spouse.
Here are some more random events that I thought that I should commit to digital paper before I forgot them.
This morning I made French toast for the girls. I had Rylee and Reagan sit at the dinning room table and served them a hot, freshly buttered, slice. They like it with powdered sugar and who wouldn't? I returned to the kitchen to prepare some for the little girls. A few moments later Rylee called to me. "Dad, I sneeze."
"What"
"I sneeze."
"You sneezed?"
"Yes, I sneeze."
"Okay."
I didn't think much more about it. Rylee always needs to have what ever she says repeated back to her. If you don't repeat after her, she will go on saying whatever it was until you lose your mind. So it is easy to just repeat without considering the consequences of what she just said. A few minutes later I peeked into the dinning room to see how they were doing. There was powdered sugar spread across the entire table. I didn't think that I put that much on there, but it looked like a sugar bomb had gone off with Rylee's plate as ground zero. I just wish I would have seen the actual blast. I bet it sent a white cloud nearly to the ceiling.
The twins have become very difficult to change lately. I don't recall ever having much of a problem changing Rylee and Reagan's diapers. Now as soon as you unfasten the little Velcro straps the twins thrust their hands down between their legs. They seem more motivated when it is really messy. Normally I would just brush their hands away and that would be the end of it, but now they are persistent. You push the hands away from the front and they reach behind and pull the diaper out from under them. When you focus on the diaper that is askew they switch back to the front. It has gotten so bad that I try to hold both hands and both feet while changing anything other than a damp diaper. It probably need not be said that they don't approve of this technique and squirm even more.
We took all four kids out to IHOP and then to the park yesterday. I was proud of us for getting out with all of them. It is still a daunting task, but we did it. This was the first time that the twins have ever been to a park and as you might expect they were off in all directions to explore. It is a challenge to keep an eye on all four at once, even with two adults. I was supprised that Madison seemed more independent than Jordan. Jordan hung around Mom for the most part with a minimum of wandering. Madison, on the other hand, took off and was not to be detured. Hanging out around the jungle gym was not what she had in mind, until she discovered the sand. She was having a ball digging. We had kept a pacifier in their mouths witch prevented them from sucking on their sandy hands, for awhile. It eventually occured to Madison that she should sample some of that sand and apparently she found it to her liking. She liked it so much that I was unable to stop her from getting a second handful into her mouth. While I was trying to brush off the pacifier she tried to reload her mouth with her right hand, witch I successfully blocked, followed immediately by the left hand, I blocked this one too, and she finally succeeded in scooping up more sand with her right and getting it too her mouth. I couldn't believe how fast she was. This all happened in about four seconds, afterwitch I picked her up so the sand would be out of reach. After I got the binky cleaned off and reinserted I figured that she would lose interest in the sand eating. Nope. As soon as I set her down she slung the binky to the ground and grabbed two handfuls of sand to put in her mouth. I was ready this time and she didn't get very far. Madison spent the rest of the day at the park in Dad's arms. Maybe that was her goal in the first place.
It was also the first time that the twins got to walk in shoes. We have not bothered with shoes much since the twins arrived. We don't really go out all that much and up to this point we kept them in the stroller. They were not quite sure what to make of them. They walked around doing the goose step for awhile and there were a few tumbles, but they seem to be getting the hang of it.
Not much new to report. We are pretty much settled back into our routine.
The twins are getting bigger and we relish every new behavior. We are still keenly aware of their struggles early on and every small accomplishment seems like a huge milestone to us.
Both Madison and Jordan have begun to say a few words other than Mama and Daddy. "Oh oh" is my favorite, at least until that phrase is linked to an event that deserves an "oh oh." We also here "tickle, tickle, tickle" and "Thank yooooou."
Madison is taking over as the number one drama queen. She seems a bit more needy than Jordan. Jordan will wander around and amuse herself and is not in the habit of pushing and shoving if she is not getting her way. Madison, on the other hand, has been known to pull her siblings off of my lap by their hair when she would like to sit there. She has also mastered the "screaming sack of potatoes" technique of protesting what ever it is that is troubling her at any given moment. You know the one where the child will collapse into a heap on the floor and refuse to do anything but scream until she is picked up and pacified. It is very effective for getting what you want.
Reagan is emerging as a real mother hen. I had her pegged as strictly an enforcer, but she has been showing her softer side. She still keeps the twins in line and restricts their use of toys that she deems inappropriate, but now she will go a find a bottle for them if they are crying. She also likes to push a chair over to their highchairs and help them eat. "One bite for you, one bite for me." Peek-a-boo is a favorite game between Reagan and the twins. I am very pleased to see Reagan getting more involved with the twins. Up until recently she seemed completely uninterested in the twins unless they were getting into her stuff or her space.
Rylee is very good about entertaining the twins and has learned that it is fun to tickle them. Over all the kids are much better about entertaining eachother. We still have to step in and refaree pretty often, but seems to be getting a little easier.
We are back home in Houston now. I have not added up the receipts for fuel and food, but at $4.00 per gallon I am sure that it was not cheap. Not to mention the new tires and brakes that I felt compelled to replace in Sarasota. Thanks Papa for the help in that department. The drive home went much smoother that the trip to Florida. There was a little fussing from the twins between Sarasota and Tallahassee, but after that pit stop everyone pretty much passed out and I was left to my book on tape.
In Tallahassee we visited my good friend Jon Bussey and his family. The kids got a little food and had a chance to stretch their legs and the dogs had a good ol time playing with the Bussey's Great Dane, Henry. However, I was a little embarrassed that our dogs were more interested in "dominating" (I guess that is the nicest way to put it. I won't go into the details.) Henry than just chasing each other around the yard. We spent about two hours with the Bussey family and then hit the road again.
Since Kari had problems with her contacts and her new glasses were making her feel sick, I drove straight through the night. I hit a little lull about 3:00 a.m. but after switching to a more interesting book on tape I was as right as rain again. Around 7:00 we had breakfast in the parking lot of a Shell station. Milk and donuts. We must have been amusing to watch, changing diapers, filling bottles, and brushing teeth right there next to the gas pumps. I thought it was all kind of fun. Maybe I am a gypsy at heart.
Papa and Grandmom had a bet to see if we would drive straight through or have to stop for the night. Grandmom won, betting that we would push on through. She was correct in telling Papa that when I get on the road I have an overwhelming desire to just get there.
We rolled into Houston about 9:30 a.m., picked up the other car at the airport and I took the kids home while Kari ran to the store for essentials. Believe it or not I wasn't feeling too bad. I did however crash for about five hours when Kari got home. And I was still recovering a bit yesterday and the kids were a little out of sorts. It seems like we are pretty much back to normal today.
There is still plenty to do around the house. The laundry that has been piling up since before Ike got here and the pool are the biggest projects.
Back to work. More later.