The Spencer Girls

I am going to have to give my girls some insturction on identifying different types of rocks and minerals.

Recently my job took me to Athens, Greece. I walked up to the Akropolis and thought it would be neat if I brought some rocks back for the girls. I didn't steal any marble slabs or anything, just some stray stones from the walkways. Ever since I gave those to the girls they have been obsessed with collecting rocks. They have spent hours digging through the yard and come up with some interesting specimens. I had no idea that we had that many rocks in the yard. It appears now that there may be more rocks and sand that grass.

This morning I stepped out side to feed the dog and notice a good size pile of rocks on the patio table and I stopped to take a look at their collection. Most of them were white in color, but at the top of the pile there was a darker one. I thought "What is that?" So I looked a little closer.

Yep, the reason it was darker was that it had previously been dog food.

It occurred to me that I don't really spend that much time doing things with the kids. When I am not flying I spend most of the time at home trying to get the kids to leave me alone and stop whining long enough for me to get some dishes washed or food prepared or a wall painted. I was starting to feel a little guilty that I had not spend any "quality" time with them. And so today I took Reagan from school straight to Dairy Queen. That was nice. I picked up Rylee early from her after school program. That was nice too. Then I thought it would be fun if I got the big green ball from upstairs and we all kicked it around together in the back yard.

I had images in my head of my daughters frolicking through the back yard with huge grins on their faces, their hair shimmering like gold in the late afternoon sun. I pictured them being overwhelmingly happy that Dad had taken some time and devoted it strictly to playing with them.

It took about ten minutes to find the ball and convince Jordan to put on some pants. I finally got Jordan and Rylee out the door and told them what I had in mind. For emphasis I gave the ball a good kick. It soared into the air, bounced off the tree and went into the pool. So I had to take down the pool fence to get it while Rylee lectured me on the risks of getting her feet wet and dirty by playing with the ball now that it had been in the pool and advising me to dry it off before we continued. "It'll be fine. It will be dry in no time. Don't worry about it. Come on." I said.

I proceeded to kick the ball down the hill and out into the open grass. Jordan followed me down and Rylee stopped at the top of the hill. "I don't have shoes on, Dad." She said.
"That is okay." I said and kicked off my flip flops.
"But I want shoes..."
"You don't need shoes."
"I'll be right back." She said and disappeared inside.

I called to Reagan and Madison, who were playing on the side of the house. "Reagan...Reagan...Madison...REAGAN..." They must be deaf.
I walked back up the hill. "Madi and Reagan, come here. Lets play ball." Madison came trotting over with a smile. Reagan, who had just seen the neighbors sprinklers come on disappeared without a word to retrieve her bathing suit.

So for a few minutes Jordan, Madi, and I kicked the ball around and were having a pretty good time. Then Rylee came out, stood at the top of the hill, lifted up her left foot to show me the flip flops that she had donned. "Okay, you have your shoes. Come on." I said. She trotted down the hill. "Alright, Rylee, I will kick the ball to you and you kick it to Jordan and Jordan will kick it to Madi." I said
"No, no, no, Dad, I wan't to play basketball." She ran over to the fence and started to explain the rules of her version of basketball. She was describing the placement of the imaginary hoops when Reagan reemerged from the house in her swimsuit, trotted down the hill, kicked the ball and began dribbling it down the yard like Pele. "NOOOOO! Dad! She is cheating! REAGAN!!!" Rylee shrieked.
"Rylee, come on, lets just kick the ball." I said and ran after Reagan. Rylee scowled, marched up the hill did an abrupt about face and with arms straight down at her sides, fist bunched into tight fists, yelled "I'm not playing! This isn't what I want to do!"
"Rylee..." I said with what must have been an exasperated tone. But she turned on her heel and marched into the house and slammed the door. She did come back out to shout at us a few minutes later, but it was unintelligible.

So Jordan and I chased Reagan for a few minutes. It took Jordan about two minutes to realize that she wasn't having fun and collapse on the ground in tears. Madison reappeared. She had slipped away to put on her swimsuit as well. For a moment I thought about the fact that they had just added to the amount of laundry that need to be done, but banished that to the back of my mind. I tried to organize them into a rough circle so that we could kick the ball back and forth. That didn't really work... I have a new found respect for kindergarten P.E. teachers. Every time the ball was kicked to anyone but Jordan she would collapse to the ground and begin to sob again. "Jo, come on, we have to share. Madi, kick the ball to Jo." I said. Madison instead threw herself on top of the ball. Reagan, who was surely only trying to help (uh huh) tried to kick the ball and instead connected with Madison's arm. "Oops. Saweeee." she said, not looking very concerned, as Madison joined her sister in wailing at the top of her lungs.

It pretty much went down hill from there. I did get a few more giggles by picking them up under the arms and twirling in a circle, but every time I put a kid down she would start to cry again.

So my attempt at family time ended up with four dirty kids, two of whom where crying inconsolably, one who was having a temper tantrum, and me feeling dizzy and somewhat nauseous.

And then I stepped in some dog poop.

Sigh.

Not sure what I ate, but I was recently about as sick as I have ever been. I hadn't eaten anything unusual, but a three a.m. on Monday my body violently disagreed with something. It lasted almost two days and I learned a few things:
1. You don't really appreciate having a squeaky clean toilet until you have your head stuck in there for several hours. I will buy more toilet bowl cleaner next time I am at the store.
2. I need to start streching or something. I have had a bad back for a long time and sleeping for anymore than about 6 hours becomes very painful. So when you are too ill to remain standing and too sore to lie down it makes for a completely miserable time.
3. When you see your three year old walk by with an uncapped indelable marker and you don't care, you may have food poisoning.
4. Three year olds will still jump on your stomach even if you tell them that you don't feel well. And giggle while doing it.
5. My wife is really an angel.

I am no longer hoping for a quick death and am off to Rome for the first time with the mandate to bring back "something" for my wife.

Yesterday was the first time that I was not excited to get home to see my girls. The reason that I was less than enthusiastic about my homecoming was that I was coming home to be the enforcer. The admistering agent of righteous retribution. We don't spank much. However, on this occasion we wanted to make a big impression. She, Rylee, was told that I would give her a spanking when I got home. Us thinking that the punishment might mean more coming from "Dad" and maybe waiting for it all day would make her think a little more about her behavior. I suppose that you are wondering what her crime was.

Behavior at school was the problem. We found out yesterday that for the last three weeks Rylee has been hiding under her desk and not coming out when she didn't want to do something. She was not getting spanked for that. She has also been screaming out at the top of her lungs, often, when she gets angry about something. She was not getting spanked for that either. At lunch yesterday she wanted Chantal's cookie. Up till now Chantal has been Rylee's good friend. Rylee had asked her several times if she could have her cookie and Chantal told her "No." So Rylee screamed and hit her. That was what got her a couple of swats on the rump.

I am troubled by a couple of things. Why has this been going on for three weeks and this is the first that we are hearing of it? How is it that our lovely, polite, well behaved little girl is now having these issues? Last month her teacher told us that she wished that she could clone Rylee, that she was a near perfect student. Now she sounds like sort of a little brat. What has changed?

Anyway, I felt a little sick all the way home. I had to keep rewinding my book on tape because my mind kept drifting to "How are you going to handle THIS one Mark?" Should I put on "stern" right away? Should I give her a hug? I had been gone for nearly a week so I had to get my hug. And I wanted her to know that I love her no matter what. BUT she was still in trouble.

So when I walked in the door I got the usual "DADDY!!! Daddy is home!" from three of the girls. I pretty much expected that. I got my hugs and kisses from them and then turned my attention to Rylee. She was sitting at the kitchen table looking somewhat glum. I expected that too. "Can I have a hug please?" I asked. She nodded. I gave her a big hug "I missed you. I love you very much." I told her.
"I love you too." she said. "You are going to spank me." she said in a sort of matter of fact way.
"Yes, I am. We will talk about that in a minute." I was thinking of putting it off for a little longer. Mostly because I just didn't want to do it. But then thought it would be better for all of us to just get it over with. "Come with me. I want to talk to you first." She hopped down and followed me into the bed room.
"Dad, could you spank me first?" she asked. I didn't expect that. I supposed she had the same thing on her mind. Let's get this over with as soon as possible.
"No, I want to talk to you first." I said as I sat her on the bed and squatted down to talk to her eye to eye. "Do you know why you are getting a spanking?" I asked.
"Because I hit Chantal."
"That is right. The only time that it is ever okay to hit is if someone is trying to hurt you and won't stop. You have the right to defend yourself. But you hit someone because they wouldn't give you their cookie. Over a cookie! That is not okay. Ever.
Ms. Mayl called us today and told us that you have been hidding under your desk and not coming out when things arn't going your way AND that you have been screaming when you get angry. That is unacceptable. You are not getting spanked for that, but it better not continue." Here I gave her the serious stink eye. She didn't even blink. I wasn't sure if that was because she was paying close attention or if she was totally unfazed. "Mom and I are very disapointed. And embarrassed. Do you know what this makes Ms. Mayl think?" I asked.
"What?" she asked with big doe eyes.
"She thinks that we aren't good parents. She thinks that we didn't teach you good manners. And that isn't true. You dissapointed Ms. Mayl too. You were doing so good, you were her favorite student... So you...will...not...act...like...that...anymore. Okay?"
"Okay."

So she took her punishment and walked stoically out of the bed room without even a tear. And I started thinking "Uh oh, what am I going to do if that had no effect at all?" But then she burst into tears and ran up to her room. I let her sulk for a little while and then went up to make sure that she knew that her punishment was over and she didn't have to go sulk anymore.

Sometimes the parenting thing is difficult.

"Dad, can I go with you when you take Rylee to school?" Asked Reagan this morning over breakfast. While it is really a hassle to get all of the kids dressed if you don't have to, her sweet little smile and the tilt of her head penetrated my defenses and I heard myself reply "Yeah, I guess that would be okay." I knew what was coming next.
"Can I come too?" Pipped Madison.
"Me too?" Jordan chirped.
"All right. You may go too." I said.

We finished our ham and eggs (Not green) and the whole troop marched upstairs. Rylee and Reagan are pretty easy to dress. They will wear whatever you chose for them or do a pretty decent job of choosing their own clothes. I dressed them first.

Madison and Jordan are a little more picky. I pulled out jeans for them.
"I don't wan jean." Said Jordan.
"But it is a little chilly outside." I said.
"I wan dis." She pointed to a floral print dress.
"Okay. Sigh."
"An I wan shorts." She continued.
"Alright."

I prefer that the twins wear Crocs. It is so much easier than socks and shoes. But Madi would have none of that. That would mean that Jo would want socks and shoes too.
"I wan socks." She announced. I checked my watch.
"Sigh. Okay."

We finally got panties and jeans and dresses on everyone. I paused to grab their jackets off the top rack.
"I don wan jacket." Madi said.
"It's cold out. I think you will be more comfortable if you wear your jacket." I said.
"I doooon wan jacket!" She insisted.
"Okay." I said, but brought it downstairs anyway hoping that she would change her mind.

"Everyone find your shoes!" I commanded. We sifted though piles of drop cloths and paint cans (We are in the middle of trying to paint the walls) and came up with three pairs of shoes and one pair of flip flops. At least I call them shoes, but my daughters insist they are Sckechers and or Sliders.

I put Madi's "Sliders" on first. Then Jordan's "Sckechers". Then Rylee's "Sliders".
"I wan Sckechers." Madi said.
"No, you already have shoes on, I don't have time to for changing shoes."
Here started the first tantrum of the morning.
"Whaaaaaaa...I wan Schechers...Whaaaaa!"
"Go upstairs if you are going to cry."
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"GO UPSTAIRS!" Starting to lose the temper a bit.

"Rylee, go brush your teeth. Hurry up so we aren't late."
Rylee shuffles off to the bathroom at three quarter speed.

Shoot...I forgot to make Rylee's lunch.
"Rylee, you want peanut butter and jelly? Right?"
"Yes." She said. Thank God, she isn't being difficult.

Jordan picks a bugger and hands it to me.
"Thanks..." I say. I wash my hands.

Rylee appears with a tube of toothpaste in her hand.
"I need help." She says. So I open the toothpaste and return to preparing the lunch.

Rylee comes back out and gives me a big fake smile with her eyes closed tight.
"Clean!" She announces.
"Very good. Will you do me a favor and go tell Madison that she can come down stairs and go with us if she can be nice?"
"Okay." She said. Clearly not excited about going to confront her little sister, who could still be heard screaming at the top of her lungs.

A few minutes later Rylee returned.
"She doesn't want to stop crying, Dad." She informed me.
"Thank you for doing that, I will go talk to her. Here is your lunch, please put your backpack by the door."

I went upstairs and found Madi in bed hyperventalating.
"Do you want to be happy and go with us to Rylee's school?" I asked.
"Ye...sniff... ye...sniff... yeah." She replied.
"Okay, come on."

At the bottom of the stairs we assembled to don jackets. Reagan and Jordan asked for some help zipping theirs up and insisted on putting on the hoods. Rylee claimed that she didn't need one, but I noticed that when we finally got out the door she had put it on anyway. And Madison still refused to wear hers, even though I tried one more time to convince her.

"Okay, lets go." I said. And my small army piled out the door and rushed to the truck. Reagan insisted on checking the mail on the way.

I got the twins buckled in.
"I wan my jacket." Madi said. I knew this was going to happen... If it had been any cooler I would have relented and gone to get her jacket, but it wasn't really that cold, so she was going to have to live with her original decision.
"Madi, you said you didn't want it and we are not going to get it now."
"Whaaaaa!"
"Sigh." She is going to make some young man crazy one day.
I hopped in and adjusted the mirror. I am not overly concerned with my appearance on most days, but the guy eyeballing me in the rearview mirror was looking pretty haggard, with bleary eyes and hair sticking out at odd angles. So ran inside and grabbed a hat and my coffee.

We sang "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" all the way to school.

The kids are more and more entertaining every day. The latest conversation with Reagan, now four, went something like this:

Conversation between Reagan, Madison, and Kari.

Reagan to Madison: Baby! Baby! Here! Baby!
Kari to Reagan: Is she a baby?
Reagan: No
Kari: Does she drink out of a bottle?
Reagan: No
Kari: Does she sleep in a crib?
Reagan: Yes!
Kari: Nooo she doesn't, she sleeps in a big girl bed.
Reagan: Oh.
Kari: Does she wear diapers?
Reagan:No
Kari: See she is a big girl you should call her Madison, Okay?
Reagan: Okay.
Reagan to Madison: BABY! Here! Baby!

I guess old habits are hard to break.

I do plan to update the blog with the tales of the move and resettlement, but I just don't have the energy at the moment. Stay tuned.

M