I was having a very vivid dream this morning. I was dreaming that Reagan was talking to me. I was not sure exactly what she was saying, but I rarely am. It is usually more of a "best guess" approach to deciphering her speech. You repeat back whatever it was you thought you heard and she will then let you know if you are correct or not. It is kind of like a game show, because when you guess correctly she responds with a very animated "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" usually accompanied by jumping and arm waving.
So I was dreaming. Reagan was talking to me and then she put a cell phone to my ear, but I didn't speak into the cell phone. So she put the phone in front of my face and started rubbing it across the bridge of my nose. Then I woke up. Fortunately I didn't jump, because Reagan was in the bed. She had her left arm draped over my head and was holding something green. In fact when I opened my eyes I could see nothing but green. "That is too big to be a cell phone...What is that?" Then she answered my unasked question.
"Pee pee!" she piped.
"Give me that!" I said steadying the bowl that she was now holding over my left ear. Now with a bowl of urine in my left hand I found that I was tangled in the sheets and was unable to roll to the left to get my feet on the floor. So after about 60 seconds of trying to unsnarl myself without spilling the pee, I got myself free.
I lead Reagan to the bathroom to empty the bowl and wash hands, then on to the kitchen for an M&M reward and some milk. Even though it was still very early I could tell that there was no hope of getting Reagan back to bed. So I turned on the cartoons. This is kind of the morning routine for us. If it is very early the big girls will drink milk and watch cartoons quietly while we doze for a few more minutes. So I turned up the babies monitor, so I would hear if they woke up before I was up and about, and I returned to bed.
It seemed like two minutes later that Reagan was back on the bed. In reality I think she gave me about 35 minutes. Again there was a green bowl perched atop my left ear. This time I could smell it before I saw it. So I got up. I noticed that Reagan had changed out of her pull-ups, and I was regretting my decision to get 30 more minutes of sleep. Then I saw, as we walked out of the bedroom, that she had not been successful in keeping the waste in the bowl for the entire trip to show Dad. That meant that it had been dropped on the carpet, picked back up, and replaced in the bowl before it continued the journey to my bed. Now I started a closer inspection of my daughter and rushed her to the sink to wash her hands. I was also trying to recall if she had touched my face before I became totally awake. In the bathroom I found that she had tried to make it to the potty at one point and had left a large puddle on the floor. Sigh.
At that point I woke Kari up to give me a hand. The twins would be up any minute and they would need to be changed and fed. The big girls needed to be cleaned and fed and there were at least two messes that needed immediate attention. She was not very pleased.
What I want to know is why do the kids come get ME when there is poop? It doesn't matter what side of the bed I sleep on, the kids always come find Dad. How did I become relegated to the poop cleaner upper?