Yesterday it was one year since Kari was diagnosed with twin to twin transfusion syndrome. We sat out in the back yard and enjoyed a glass of wine in celebration.
It occurred to me that she never really told me about that trip to the doctor's office and I asked her to tell me about it.
Dr. Reiter had always maintained a somewhat cold, clinical, attitude and had warned her from the begining that there might be complications, including twin to twin. Soon after he started that untrasound he stopped and told Kari "We need to get you into the hospital today. They have twin to twin transfusion. It may already be too late. You should prepare yourself to lose baby B."
Obviously this was very upsetting to Kari and she began to sob, unable to maintain her composer. Dr. Reiter's demeanor changed from cold and clinical to warm and supporting. He put one hand on her shoulder and one on top of her head. "We will get you in today, we will do an amnio-reduction and we will go from there." He never again mentioned morbidity.
I have to say that I am glad that she didn't tell me at that point to plan on losing one of the twins and glad that she never shared the statistics that our kids would live, it was less than 20%. It never occured to me that we might lose one or both until I saw them in the NICU. I will never forget how small and pale Jordan appeared. She seemed to be nothing but ribs and a little head. I recall vividly how her little rib cage was rising and falling with such effort to get her body that desparately needed oxygen.
And so, I am reminded that we have two miracles and I should cherish every moment that I have with all of my girls. Even when they are screaming and I am exhausted and the house is trashed and the laundry is piling up and they are working my last nerve... Even then.