The Spencer Girls

Not sure what I ate, but I was recently about as sick as I have ever been. I hadn't eaten anything unusual, but a three a.m. on Monday my body violently disagreed with something. It lasted almost two days and I learned a few things:
1. You don't really appreciate having a squeaky clean toilet until you have your head stuck in there for several hours. I will buy more toilet bowl cleaner next time I am at the store.
2. I need to start streching or something. I have had a bad back for a long time and sleeping for anymore than about 6 hours becomes very painful. So when you are too ill to remain standing and too sore to lie down it makes for a completely miserable time.
3. When you see your three year old walk by with an uncapped indelable marker and you don't care, you may have food poisoning.
4. Three year olds will still jump on your stomach even if you tell them that you don't feel well. And giggle while doing it.
5. My wife is really an angel.

I am no longer hoping for a quick death and am off to Rome for the first time with the mandate to bring back "something" for my wife.

Yesterday was the first time that I was not excited to get home to see my girls. The reason that I was less than enthusiastic about my homecoming was that I was coming home to be the enforcer. The admistering agent of righteous retribution. We don't spank much. However, on this occasion we wanted to make a big impression. She, Rylee, was told that I would give her a spanking when I got home. Us thinking that the punishment might mean more coming from "Dad" and maybe waiting for it all day would make her think a little more about her behavior. I suppose that you are wondering what her crime was.

Behavior at school was the problem. We found out yesterday that for the last three weeks Rylee has been hiding under her desk and not coming out when she didn't want to do something. She was not getting spanked for that. She has also been screaming out at the top of her lungs, often, when she gets angry about something. She was not getting spanked for that either. At lunch yesterday she wanted Chantal's cookie. Up till now Chantal has been Rylee's good friend. Rylee had asked her several times if she could have her cookie and Chantal told her "No." So Rylee screamed and hit her. That was what got her a couple of swats on the rump.

I am troubled by a couple of things. Why has this been going on for three weeks and this is the first that we are hearing of it? How is it that our lovely, polite, well behaved little girl is now having these issues? Last month her teacher told us that she wished that she could clone Rylee, that she was a near perfect student. Now she sounds like sort of a little brat. What has changed?

Anyway, I felt a little sick all the way home. I had to keep rewinding my book on tape because my mind kept drifting to "How are you going to handle THIS one Mark?" Should I put on "stern" right away? Should I give her a hug? I had been gone for nearly a week so I had to get my hug. And I wanted her to know that I love her no matter what. BUT she was still in trouble.

So when I walked in the door I got the usual "DADDY!!! Daddy is home!" from three of the girls. I pretty much expected that. I got my hugs and kisses from them and then turned my attention to Rylee. She was sitting at the kitchen table looking somewhat glum. I expected that too. "Can I have a hug please?" I asked. She nodded. I gave her a big hug "I missed you. I love you very much." I told her.
"I love you too." she said. "You are going to spank me." she said in a sort of matter of fact way.
"Yes, I am. We will talk about that in a minute." I was thinking of putting it off for a little longer. Mostly because I just didn't want to do it. But then thought it would be better for all of us to just get it over with. "Come with me. I want to talk to you first." She hopped down and followed me into the bed room.
"Dad, could you spank me first?" she asked. I didn't expect that. I supposed she had the same thing on her mind. Let's get this over with as soon as possible.
"No, I want to talk to you first." I said as I sat her on the bed and squatted down to talk to her eye to eye. "Do you know why you are getting a spanking?" I asked.
"Because I hit Chantal."
"That is right. The only time that it is ever okay to hit is if someone is trying to hurt you and won't stop. You have the right to defend yourself. But you hit someone because they wouldn't give you their cookie. Over a cookie! That is not okay. Ever.
Ms. Mayl called us today and told us that you have been hidding under your desk and not coming out when things arn't going your way AND that you have been screaming when you get angry. That is unacceptable. You are not getting spanked for that, but it better not continue." Here I gave her the serious stink eye. She didn't even blink. I wasn't sure if that was because she was paying close attention or if she was totally unfazed. "Mom and I are very disapointed. And embarrassed. Do you know what this makes Ms. Mayl think?" I asked.
"What?" she asked with big doe eyes.
"She thinks that we aren't good parents. She thinks that we didn't teach you good manners. And that isn't true. You dissapointed Ms. Mayl too. You were doing so good, you were her favorite student... So you...will...not...act...like...that...anymore. Okay?"
"Okay."

So she took her punishment and walked stoically out of the bed room without even a tear. And I started thinking "Uh oh, what am I going to do if that had no effect at all?" But then she burst into tears and ran up to her room. I let her sulk for a little while and then went up to make sure that she knew that her punishment was over and she didn't have to go sulk anymore.

Sometimes the parenting thing is difficult.

"Dad, can I go with you when you take Rylee to school?" Asked Reagan this morning over breakfast. While it is really a hassle to get all of the kids dressed if you don't have to, her sweet little smile and the tilt of her head penetrated my defenses and I heard myself reply "Yeah, I guess that would be okay." I knew what was coming next.
"Can I come too?" Pipped Madison.
"Me too?" Jordan chirped.
"All right. You may go too." I said.

We finished our ham and eggs (Not green) and the whole troop marched upstairs. Rylee and Reagan are pretty easy to dress. They will wear whatever you chose for them or do a pretty decent job of choosing their own clothes. I dressed them first.

Madison and Jordan are a little more picky. I pulled out jeans for them.
"I don't wan jean." Said Jordan.
"But it is a little chilly outside." I said.
"I wan dis." She pointed to a floral print dress.
"Okay. Sigh."
"An I wan shorts." She continued.
"Alright."

I prefer that the twins wear Crocs. It is so much easier than socks and shoes. But Madi would have none of that. That would mean that Jo would want socks and shoes too.
"I wan socks." She announced. I checked my watch.
"Sigh. Okay."

We finally got panties and jeans and dresses on everyone. I paused to grab their jackets off the top rack.
"I don wan jacket." Madi said.
"It's cold out. I think you will be more comfortable if you wear your jacket." I said.
"I doooon wan jacket!" She insisted.
"Okay." I said, but brought it downstairs anyway hoping that she would change her mind.

"Everyone find your shoes!" I commanded. We sifted though piles of drop cloths and paint cans (We are in the middle of trying to paint the walls) and came up with three pairs of shoes and one pair of flip flops. At least I call them shoes, but my daughters insist they are Sckechers and or Sliders.

I put Madi's "Sliders" on first. Then Jordan's "Sckechers". Then Rylee's "Sliders".
"I wan Sckechers." Madi said.
"No, you already have shoes on, I don't have time to for changing shoes."
Here started the first tantrum of the morning.
"Whaaaaaaa...I wan Schechers...Whaaaaa!"
"Go upstairs if you are going to cry."
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
"GO UPSTAIRS!" Starting to lose the temper a bit.

"Rylee, go brush your teeth. Hurry up so we aren't late."
Rylee shuffles off to the bathroom at three quarter speed.

Shoot...I forgot to make Rylee's lunch.
"Rylee, you want peanut butter and jelly? Right?"
"Yes." She said. Thank God, she isn't being difficult.

Jordan picks a bugger and hands it to me.
"Thanks..." I say. I wash my hands.

Rylee appears with a tube of toothpaste in her hand.
"I need help." She says. So I open the toothpaste and return to preparing the lunch.

Rylee comes back out and gives me a big fake smile with her eyes closed tight.
"Clean!" She announces.
"Very good. Will you do me a favor and go tell Madison that she can come down stairs and go with us if she can be nice?"
"Okay." She said. Clearly not excited about going to confront her little sister, who could still be heard screaming at the top of her lungs.

A few minutes later Rylee returned.
"She doesn't want to stop crying, Dad." She informed me.
"Thank you for doing that, I will go talk to her. Here is your lunch, please put your backpack by the door."

I went upstairs and found Madi in bed hyperventalating.
"Do you want to be happy and go with us to Rylee's school?" I asked.
"Ye...sniff... ye...sniff... yeah." She replied.
"Okay, come on."

At the bottom of the stairs we assembled to don jackets. Reagan and Jordan asked for some help zipping theirs up and insisted on putting on the hoods. Rylee claimed that she didn't need one, but I noticed that when we finally got out the door she had put it on anyway. And Madison still refused to wear hers, even though I tried one more time to convince her.

"Okay, lets go." I said. And my small army piled out the door and rushed to the truck. Reagan insisted on checking the mail on the way.

I got the twins buckled in.
"I wan my jacket." Madi said. I knew this was going to happen... If it had been any cooler I would have relented and gone to get her jacket, but it wasn't really that cold, so she was going to have to live with her original decision.
"Madi, you said you didn't want it and we are not going to get it now."
"Whaaaaa!"
"Sigh." She is going to make some young man crazy one day.
I hopped in and adjusted the mirror. I am not overly concerned with my appearance on most days, but the guy eyeballing me in the rearview mirror was looking pretty haggard, with bleary eyes and hair sticking out at odd angles. So ran inside and grabbed a hat and my coffee.

We sang "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" all the way to school.

The kids are more and more entertaining every day. The latest conversation with Reagan, now four, went something like this:

Conversation between Reagan, Madison, and Kari.

Reagan to Madison: Baby! Baby! Here! Baby!
Kari to Reagan: Is she a baby?
Reagan: No
Kari: Does she drink out of a bottle?
Reagan: No
Kari: Does she sleep in a crib?
Reagan: Yes!
Kari: Nooo she doesn't, she sleeps in a big girl bed.
Reagan: Oh.
Kari: Does she wear diapers?
Reagan:No
Kari: See she is a big girl you should call her Madison, Okay?
Reagan: Okay.
Reagan to Madison: BABY! Here! Baby!

I guess old habits are hard to break.

I do plan to update the blog with the tales of the move and resettlement, but I just don't have the energy at the moment. Stay tuned.

M

I got done with ground school yesterday. The plan is to pack enough clothes for two weeks and drive the whole crew down to Florida. We are not exactly ready to go, but are hoping to get out of here tonight.

We need to get a leash for the cat and figure a way to fit his litter box in the car. Not really looking forward to a road trip with the little fur ball. When we moved across town it was only a hour drive. The cat howled the entire way and pooped himself. Kari speculates that if he is free inside the vehicle he will be calmer. It should make for an interesting blog post when we get there.

So I have the pool cleaned and the front yard mowed. Still have to wash the dogs and pack some clothes.

Kari is really a wreck. She has been trying to help out, but has lost most of the use of her left hand. I don't know if it is the power of suggestion, but she has been in MUCH more pain since she learned that she has several herniated discs. I also wonder what her medications are doing to her. The doctors have her taking a huge number of pills every day. Her latest addition is a pill to prevent migraines. She says it makes her feel "floaty and tingly", makes her very tired, and makes it difficult for her to concentrate. I told her that she should be used to that. We have felt like that for the last three years.

So hopefully we will get out of town this afternoon. I plan on sleeping for a few hours when we get there and coming right back to get the rest of the house packed up. It has been nearly impossible to get anything done with the kids here and Kari in the condition that she is in.

So I am off to do some laundry and prepare for the road trip.

The latest goings on...

We are on our third week of everyone being sick. Everyone seems to be getting over it now except Madison and I. We take turns coughing on eachother. It's getting pretty old.

As most of you know we are still preparing to move. It has caused the whole family a lot of stress. We don't have an exact closing date, but have been sure that it would be "soon" for several weeks. Due to the lack of a specific date our preparations have lacked focus. You don't want to have everything you own in boxes weeks before you move. The process has forced us to examine our inventory of "stuff." It is a lot of work to sort and dispose of extra stuff. We have made a couple of trips to Goodwill already. All the baby stuff needs to go. We would love to make a few bucks by selling some of it, but that either requires a garage sale or photographing and posting on line. Both of those options are time consuming and seem daunting. The little people have not been a big help in the whole process. Just keeping them all fed and happy is a full time job.

Imagine trying to pull all the things you don't want out into the driveway while four little kids are either running amok inside or trying to play with sharp things in the garage and running into the street. It makes me have to stop and take a deep breath just thinking about it. So most of the baby gadgets, that we have spent thousands on, will be going to Goodwill. I have nothing against charity, but getting rid of things is against my nature. I am a pack rat at heart.

We have managed to pack a handle full of boxes. Mostly books and dishes that we don't use much. I had started packing several boxes of toys. However, the annal retentiveness in me forced me to try to sort the toys as I was packing them. I left the boxes open so that as I found more Legos or Little People or doll house furniture I could put them in the proper boxes. Big mistake. The kids find packed toys much more interesting than loose toys and most of what was in the boxes has been removed by small hands.

We are trying to get the rental house sold. It has been headache after headache. I went over a few days ago with the realtor to see what we could do to make the place look a little more attractive. That is when we discovered that the water heater, in the attic, was leaking. Leaking badly. Most of the water was going into the drip pan, like it is supposed to, but some was running down a rafter and into the house somewhere. I propped a board between the water heater and the rafter it was leaning against. That was a big mistake, it caused the water to leak down onto the ceiling of the bathroom.

The realtor had put a home protection plan on the house, which was nice. However, the contractor they used had me jumping through all sorts of hoops to get the job done.
"They don't make water heaters this size anymore. You won't be able to fit a new one up here." He told me.
"What? That can't be right." I said.
"This one is 18 inches and the smallest on I have is 22 inches." he said. So I got my tape measure and measured the opening to the attic. 20 inches.
"So...what do I do?" I asked the "professional."
He stared at me with a blank expression for awhile then shrugged and said, "I don't know."
"Nice..." I said.
I called my Dad, as he is a very knowledgeable guy, and asked him what he though I should do.
"They DO TO make 18 inch water heaters, call Lowes or Home Depot." He said. So I did. And they do have 18 inch water heaters."
"Hey, I just called Lowes and they have 18 inch water heaters." I told the guy.
"We don't buy ours from Lowes. You don't want one from Lowes." he says.
"I want one that fits and works." I said.
"If Lowes has them then we probably do. I have to check with the warehouse." He tells me. "You will also have to put some decking up there so the new one can be installed."
"What? They got the other one up there without any decking." I replied.
"The office will call tomorrow to set up a time for the install." He says.
"I thought you were going to do it today." I said.
"Nope." He says with a smile.

I didn't have warm fuzzies about these guys so far. They called later and said that if I didn't build a deck around the water heater they would not come to install it. I couldn't believe it and was tempted to find someone else to do the job, but I didn't want my tenants to go without hot water any longer than necessary. So I went to Lowes and bought a bunch of particle board and spent a couple of hours flooring the attic. I also took the time to remove the attic door so they wouldn't have any reasons to complain about not making it fit up there. What a hassle.

The kids still get into mischief on a regular basis. Yesterday Kari's face cream went missing from her bathroom counter top. She walked around questioning each little person she encountered.
"Did you take my face cream out of the bathroom?" She would ask.
"I didn't do it." was the standard reply.
Kari asked Madison "Do you know where Mommy's face cream is?"
"Over hee ya." Madi replied becoming excited. "Over hee ya." She continued, leading the way to the kitchen. "In hee ya!" she said pointing to the freezer. Kari thought "Well they could have put it in there." So she opened the freezer door. Madi was hopping up and down.
"Right hee ya. Ikeem!" Madi announced proudly pointing to the tub of strawberry ice cream.
We all had a good laugh. But the face cream is still missing and I shudder to think where it may have been applied.

I feel like we have a lot on our plates at the moment. I have recurrent training to study for, two days of ground school coming up, I need to renew my medical certificate, need to continue packing, stressed about Reagan's upcoming surgery, still hoping to hear something about Kari's medical issues and migraines, I should start training for the 757 in April...and the list goes on. However, a friend put it in perspective for me when she told me about the health problems that they are going through. Her husband and daughter have brain tumors, her daughter also has Lyme disease, her son has migraines and an undiagnosed bowl issue that has him doubled over in pain most of the time and they (the doctors) recently removed his appendix, unnecessarily it turns out.

So things are not so bad and we are moving forward and staying fairly positive.