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I fell in love again last night.

Well, I always have been in love with my wife. However, the last year and especially the last six months have tested us. I won't lie, it has been hard on our relationship, the last eight months have been filled with constant worry. Worry about the twins, worries about money, worries about Kari's health, it has been a bit overwhelming. We have not had much time to concentrate on the two of us. Heck, I've barely been allowed to touch her since she was six month pregnant, and that was a long time ago. The only time that we are able to sit and talk is between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. about three days a week and I can't really remember the last time that we were alone for any length of time. I don't know what we would do with out all the help from the nannies, but it is nice to be with just my wife.

This fact was apparently not lost on my Mother. She and Mary Ellen conspired to get us out of the house last night. Mary Ellen showed up a little early so that we could get ready, Grandmom stuffed some money in my shirt pocket and they basically kicked us out.

We had no real plan, but hopped in the truck and headed out. We decided to hit our old stomping ground around Kingwood. We would hit Zeo's for dinner and then stop by Pop's ice house and see if any of the old gang was about. As we drove south on I45 I realized that we were both relaxed. "That is unusual." I though to myself. Kari even laughed at my corny sense of humor. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel the need to be careful of what I said. I have tried hard not to say anything to Kari that might make her depressed, because while she is much better, she still has some "down" times. That is part of the problem with postpartum depression, when she is feeling better you may think "Okay, we are passed that and she is back to normal." but the depression is persistent and it comes and goes. And sometimes the most innocuous comment can send her spiraling back down into a blue funk. However, last night she seemed like a new person. I saw her laugh more last night than I had in the last year.

I have to say that I wasn't all that excited about going out on the town at first. I was feeling a little tired and ever the miser, I was thinking of other more productive things that we could be spending that money on. But seeing how it lifted Kari's spirits (and mine), it was money well spent.

The dinner was good. We had what we always have when we go to Zeo's, the Greek pasta and spinach artichoke dip. Normally I would be down on myself for being in a rut and ordering the same thing every time, but we had not been out to eat in so long that it really couldn't be considered a rut.

I definitely wouldn't call us bar flies, but we used to spend a bit of time at the local biker watering hole and we had become close with many of regulars and hoped some of them might be around. It seemed likely on a Saturday night that we would run into someone that we knew. It felt familiar as we pulled into the parking lot of our favorite dive and we spotted some friendly faces as we entered through the roll up, garage type, doors. There were a few of the regulars left, but the bar is now under new management and most of the regular crowed that we knew had moved on to haunt new dives. We did get the low down on many of the most interesting characters from our past and enjoyed some live music.

The table that we sat at was constructed from 55 gallon drums and 2x4s. The wood worn smooth by countless elbows and carve on with pocket knifes. Yes, this is just our kind of place. As I sat there enjoying a chilly adult beverage, a pretty good cover of a Rolling Stone's song washing over me, I glanced up at my wife. She was engaged in a deep conversation of who did what to whom with an unsavory looking character named Tim (who has a heart of gold by the way, but you wouldn't know it to look at him.) And she glanced over at me and gave me a big smile. I got flutters in my stomach, the kind of giddy flutters that you got Christmas morning just before its time to open the presents. She has always done that to me, but I realized I hadn't gotten that feeling in a long time. I had been too distracted, too stressed out. I realized how much I really love this woman and I think we are doing pretty good job getting over this bump in the road.

Kari won't like this picture I am sure, but I do and it is nice to see her smiling so much more.
It is sometimes hard to remember to enjoy the moments we have with these precious gifts. Especially when they are doing this all at the same time. But I sure do feel lucky to have them.

We started this blog to keep everyone up to date on the twins and I sometimes get off track in that respect. They are doing really well. The doctor says that very soon they won't be getting special attention for being preemies. They are ahead of were they should be developmentally.

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